Dear Avant-Garde Types:
I saw a member of your kind again the other day. He sat in what looked like a state of complete contemplation - probably contemplating the state of the universe, the demise of our civilzation, how people can live in these human shackles.
I don't know, and frankly, I don't care. OK, I didn't technically run away as fast as I could, but the whole experience did make my stomach hurt. Why? Because I don't like your types. You know who you are. You think you're a visionary. You think you're going to rock - and save - the world. You think everything has to be some grand, social statement.
In all actuality, you're none of those things. Here's what you are:
1. You're a faux hipster, desperately trying to act cool, with your pensive stares and insightful eyes.
2. You're about as exciting and intoxicating as a root canal, which you probably would refuse on the grounds that it's "giving in to the man" to have a nice set of pearly whites. You probably want your yellow teeth to make a statement, don't you?
My advice: The beatniks have had their day. You missed the boat, dude, seeing as the 1960s are OVER. Why not have a LIFE? Or at the very least, have some fun? Nothing is more of a turn-off than a guy who takes everything too damn seriously.
Besides, you don't really need this earthly realm, do you? After all, you've got your books and poetry to protect you. so stay shielded in your armor please.
UN-xoxo,
20 Comments:
Loved this!
But its 'avant-garde' :-)
hehehe, thanks Katherine! :)
I think this is hilarious. So how I felt about every other person that I went to architecture school with...
Love it!
http://tearinguphouses.blogspot.com
p.s. I might have to link this post on my blog.
I've been following your blog for some time now. It is not my intention to hurt you, but sometimes you gotta hurt to heal.
You start this blog with the statement, "I saw a member of your kind again the other day." Then you go on to say, "Because I don't like your types." And you finish up with "Here's what you are:" followed by personal attacks on someone.
Some things in this life are far more important than categorizing human beings as "man candy" like you often do in your blog. I find your objectification of human beings (male and female) offensive. I perceive that your use of the phrases "your kind" and "your types" is tinged with jealousy and bigotry.
Your disclaimer "let's be clear that the following is meant to be humorous. Any stereotyping is merely coincidental" appears to me as a superficial attempt to cover your own ass from attack. It's like saying "I'm not a racist, but . . ."
As a child of the 1960s, I can tell you that there are far more important things in this world to contemplate than your next installment of "man candy."
You advise the person to whom this blog is addressed, "Why not have a LIFE?"
Physician heal thyself.
I am not a child of the 1960s, but oh how I wish I was. Those that are the subject's of Mel's blog are what my boyfriend calls "douchebags". Its not about wanting to change the world or have fun or have a life, its a commentary about those people that are fake...they want you to think they are uber cool and ultra thinking, but its their clothes and how they act...they never reveal their true self.
To the blogger above me, I might not really care for Man Candy Monday or even agree with Melissa 100% of the time. She is the first blog I read when I started my own blog, and I appreciate her humor, wit, and honesty. I do like reading her blog and I check it out daily.
Oh Helen,
I checked out your profile. As a child of the 60s, you should know how to spell The Beatles!!
I agree with Helen. This post is mean-spirited. I didn't think that was your style.
Hi Lisa,
Thanks for pointing out my typographical error. It happens, eh? Allow the owner of this blog post to defend herself and her own words, if she can.
I don't know you, I have never read your blog, and frankly I'm not interested in reading what an Avon Lady has to say about much of anything. Avon has a bad past for the cruelty of animal testing.
Helen -- the disclaimer at the beginning was meant to be funny. I think some of you take these posts - which I write with the intention of being humorous, of adding a little laughter to your day - a bit too seriously.
xoxo
Some of us in the world are deeply concerned about stereotyping and objectification of people. I did not find your post funny. Obviously there are those who share your sense of humor. Then again, there are also those who think it's perfectly acceptable to make racist jokes and to stereotype people. They have their fan club too.
Good luck to you in all your future endeavors, Melissa.
"Any stereotyping is merely coincidental." I love this! You are one fabulous writer, lady.
Happy Monday!
Cheers.
OUCH ...maybe some people should get a sense of humor .
LMAO i love this .. i date these type of douchebags all the time ..
and although ive read a few others rag on these types ... yours was funny and had some new stuff
"Why? Because I don't like your types. You know who you are. You think you're a visionary. You think you're going to rock - and save - the world. You think everything has to be some grand, social statement."
my thoughts exactly .
ihope you dont mind if i post this post on my Fb with that quote
Go ahead, Damsel! Feel free to send me your facebook link via email if you like! :)
Helen,
I made my comment originally because your comment really irked me, and guess what?? I'm allowed to have my own opinion, just like those (you) who don't care about some avon gal, and ps- avon no longer test on animals. Keep up to date with the news, you oldie!
Lisa,
It is really pathetic that you have to attack someone personally. Sure you are entitled to your opinion. However, you can not expect to be free from criticism. Moreover, the mere possession of an opinion does not make it a right one.
Apparently you have difficulty reading and understanding. I wrote "Avon has a bad past for the cruelty of animal testing." "Past" as in, well "in the past." Clearly you have no respect for anyone, calling me an "oldie." :-) Good one.
Go back to peddling your cosmetics which serve only to perpetuate the objectification of women and the glorification of the whore image in culture.
You are quite brave behind the protection afforded you on the Internet. argumentum ad hominem. Look it up.
I think some people being a bit overly sensitive about this post. Have a sense of humor guys!
That being said, anyone who had fun with this post has got to see the site "look at this f'ing hipster". My husband told me about it. Hilarious! (not for those easily offended by bad language):
http://www.latfh.com/
Ooooh, thanks so much for the link! :)
hahahaha so damn true...very clever post and blog for that matter...just discovered it at glamour...kudos!
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