Thursday, September 24, 2009

MEMO TO MEN: How Do You Ask Someone On A Date?

TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Do you come here often?
DATE: September 24, 2009

I was sitting in front of the warm fireplace last winter enjoying another episode of Frasier (my favorite show, for those of you who don't know). In this particular episode, Frasier and Niles ask out two women they meet at a cafe. On the spot. We're talking they meet these women, chat for mere few minutes, and then ask them on a date.

I've seen this episode hundreds of times (remember, this is my favorite show we're talking about here), but this time it got me thinking: Do people in real life actually do this? Do you ask someone out you've just met, someone you actually don't even know anything about, really, someone who, for all you know, could be a murderer or a corrupt politician?

I honestly could never must the courage to do such a thing. Though remember when my guy friends gave me some asking-out etiquette tips? Apparently, I have yet to take an ounce of their advice, though it is solid and logical (ironically, just like me. Coincidence? I don't think so. At all.).

Imagine how awkward that would be: me fumbling for the right words to say, as I fidget nervously. Here's how it would probably go down:

Me: [gulp] H-h-h-ello [I'm stuttering here]

Guy: Umm, hi yourself. Do you come here often?

Me: [feeling a rush of confidence] Wow. You must have been reading my mind. What else does your mind think?

Guy: Oh, no. I just overheard the bartender ask if you wanted your usual root beer.

Me: Oh, yeah. Ummm, right. Well, you know, I am a wild one. I go all the way. No diet root beer for me....

[Guy is already too far away to hear me. He's probably laughing hysterically inside, thinking, "What hospital has this poor woman escaped from?"]

See? That wouldn't be pretty. At all. I'd probably even awkwardly spill the entire glass of root beer all over myself too and get my wheelchair all sticky.

Anyway, it just seems all so hurried and rash. What happened to the days of slowly, over time, getting to know someone? Is it really just a bing, bang world these days?

What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts. The future of the dating scene, after all, depends on us!

[Photos by Simply Bloom Photography via Glassford Hill Girl]


  1. The dialogue is so funny!
    It definitely does not happen in a real reality. You know the reality nowadays is a bit relative...

  2. Not sure what happened to the days of slowly getting to know someone-- they seem completely foreign now.

    Hilarious dialogue-- I'd probably act the same way as you! :)

  3. This definitely happens in real life. It's happened to me once or twice... though I'll talk to just about anybody!

    I don't think there's anything really wrong with it. Dates are really just extended periods of getting to know someone. If you do agree to a date, you just watch your wallet and your safety, to make sure they aren't robbers/murderers/sleazy politicians!

  4. Hi Melissa,
    The instantaneous ones are easier as at least you know there is mutual attraction but they can fizzle out. The other type is great in a different way in that you go slow and really get to know each other and that is fabulous too. However, you then need to have the courage to ask them out!
    Loving the blog,

  5. i hate spur of the moment things...i feel like it is always based on lust (it has been in my experiences anyways). i love the idea of getting to know someone, and building up that tension, and then having them ask you out! or the other way, whichever. ;)

  6. No one does that. At least, I've never done that and I've never had it done to me. So, in conclusion, it never happens.

    Perfect research.


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