Have A Spooktacular Weekend.

Happy early Halloween, my friends! What are your plans for the spooky day? Are you dressing up (and is there an age where it's just not appropo anymore)? I plan on gorging myself on sweet candy corn - my favorite Halloween treat - and enjoying a relaxing, peaceful weekend. I've been reading a lot of your lovely blogs today trying to get caught up on all the blogs I read. So many awesome and inspiring posts this week -- I tried to leave you all comments! Thanks for being you!

While we say hello to November (Whaaat?), check out my Top 5 Favorite Blogs this week...

People I No Longer Talk To: Doesn't the title speak for itself on this one? Definitely not a disappointment.

Life Without Pants: An insightful, intriguing read, and lots of lively discussion

Welcome Home: Another good tutorial for me in design and fashion; how could it not help when its tagline is, "A guide to modern living"?

Diamonds and Toads: A reminder NEVER to stop believing in fairy tales

Blog Secret: Share you feelings with the world, anonymously

Also, check out these fab finds from the Web...

Kudos to Leona Lewis

Celebrity quotes

The Mona Lisa smile mystery has been solved

Look, our dear Pippi has returned!

Pretty watercolors

What do you think of this neutral colors bedroom theme?

Take a moment and relax with these peaceful photos

boots, boots, boots

We love you, Marilyn

Ummm, vampire rings, anyone?

Isn't it about time you embraced your curves?

What do you think of these costumes for couples?

Love is...

Cute cupcake holders

I love these bright and shiny items

Tetris dress

What a neat idea for bridesmaids gifts

Finally, a theatrical trailer for The September Issue. Aren't you excited?

Congrats, Emily, on a great interview!

My father called this trend more than 10 years ago...

Who's your ideal hero?

An interesting, new take on the NYT's Modern Love column

Sigh, just bask in these relaxing photos

Don't you love the feel of cloth-bound books?

Some awesome winter fitness tips

I want this red coat

Some spooktastic Halloween photos

My weakness: A new magazine

Wouldn't you loooooove to live in this hotel room forever?

Lovely laundry rooms

An amazing Michael Jackson tribute

Yes or no: Ban divorce?

Cuteness alert! Taylor + Taylor

I'm loving these Etsy finds

Multi-colored nails

Some good dos and don'ts for married men

So what's your favorite '90s movie?

Awww, look at these magical miniatures

Jumpsuits, again?

My thoughts exactly

Red, red, red

Inspiration: Golden Rabbit

Why do you think men outnumber women in the blogosphere?

Don't you adore these fabulous flowers?




[Photo via One Love Photo]

Disability Dialogue...

Hello, friends! Some great treats this week on Disabled And Thriving, my Psychology Today magazine blog. Hope you enjoy this week's round-up of posts!

A Girl, Her Dad and a Summer Sky

Words of Wisdom Wednesday: Notable Quotables

Savoring Those Special Moments With Dad

Life Lessons From My Father

Oh, and check it out...I'm featured on the blogging main page!






[Photo via Abby Sharp]

Dating With Disabilities: Tugging At Wounded Heartstrings.

Teaser: Love. Bitterness. Breakups. Unrequited love. Revenge. Cheating hearts. Chances are, if you’ve experienced it, there is a complimentary song to go with it. A little mood music, if you will. After all, isn’t that what songwriters aim to do? To tug at your wooed or wounded heartstrings? To write about the universal experience? I don’t know about you, but nothing is more universal than the L word: Love.



Dating With Disabilities: Tugging At Wounded Heartstrings




[Photo via Le Love]

Freaky (Funny!) Friday.

Previously on The Melissa Diaries: Summers in the Deep South were magical. Almost as magical as summers in the Deep South spent ogling southern gentlemen. I had a feeling this summer was going to be anything but ordinary...

Starts All Over Again.

For the first time, I didn't have any one particular person in mind when I wrote this. A few days later, I re-read it, and immediately thought, "Wow, that pretty much sums up my entire self-imposed roller coaster ride with Crush Boy." Ever had any experiences like this? I'd love to hear about them.

I can barely stand it when you look at me
Your smile and those eyes, you're making it so hard to breathe
Do you see how awkward I can be?
So I try to say something, but end up stuttering instead

The way your eyes burned into mine yesterday
I swore you knew exactly what I was thinking
Apparently you never felt the same
But in this dream of mine
It's just you and me, dancing to a silent symphony
How did you ever find your way inside my head?
So intense, I can barely catch my breath
Just when I think it's over finally
That's when I see you and it starts all over again

I'm surprised you haven't picked up on my feelings by now
With my awkward stare and my hands shaking
I feel my resistance weakening whenever you're around
It's because of you that I'm still believing

The way your eyes burned into mine yesterday
I swore you knew exactly what I was thinking
Apparently you never felt the same
But in this dream of mine
It's just you and me, dancing to a silent symphony
How did you ever find your way inside my head?
So intense, I can barely catch my breath
Just when I think it's over finally
That's when I see you and it starts all over again

I saw you again yesterday
For a split second, you held my gaze
Maybe the next time we meet
I'll look you in the eyes and tell you everything

The way your eyes burned into mine yesterday
I swore you knew exactly what I was thinking
Apparently you never felt the same
But in this dream of mine
It's just you and me, dancing to a silent symphony
How did you ever find your way inside my head?
So intense, I can barely catch my breath
Just when I think it's over finally
That's when I see you and it starts all over again

The way your eyes burned into mine yesterday
I swore you knew exactly what I was thinking
Apparently you never felt the same
But in this dream of mine
It's just you and me, dancing to a silent symphony
How did you ever find your way inside my head?
So intense, I can barely catch my breath
Just when I think it's over finally
That's when I see you and it starts all over again

Every time I see you
It's everything you do
So intense, I can hardly catch my breath
And then it starts all over again

Starts all over again...
Starts all over again...
Starts all over again...

[Photo via Audrey Hepburn Complex]

Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #52

Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:


Newsflash from way back in 2009: Warning, warning. There is nothing even remotely sexy or desirable about me.

See, it's times like these that I actually wish you were hear. I'm not needing you to defend my honor or anything - I, obviously, am capable of doing those sorts of things for myself - but just to see your face in reaction to some of the things people say. Depending on who you are, I'm pretty sure we're going to get a few stares in our direction; you're not a very private person, are you? That could most definitely be a problem, Sweetpea.

What made you fall in love with me? I'd really like to know because apparently, to some people, my disability makes me very undesirable. I'm talking run-in-the-other-direction-screaming undesirable. If I'm so unattractive, what exactly did make you fall in love with me?


I've been thinking about that a lot back in 2009. I won't pretend that I'm prettier and more gorgeous than a California blonde - I mean, let's be realistic here.

So I'm thinking I got you to marry me either one or all of the following ways:

*Charmed the pants off you (in a metaphorical way, of course).

*Paid an obscene amount of money in one of those bachelor auctions.

*Do they still have mail-order husband wherever you are?

Now of course I know those are completely illogical reasons and not the reasons you'll fall in love with me, but lately, people I don't even know have been making me feel like that. And as mad as I am at their ignorance and downright rudeness, I'm even madder at myself that I even let their dumb opinions cut me so deep.

Why is it that a disability can turn people into ugly, evil monsters? Is it really such an uncomfortable thing? I know you don't think so, and believe me, I am very grateful for that.

On a related note, I am looking forward to falling in love with you...your charm...your sense of humor (I hope it's a bit quirky)...your laugh...your tenderness...your sensitivity...your sexy brain...your sexy brain...oh and of course...your sexy brain.

Until we meet...




[Photos via We Heart It]

Would You Like To Advertise on So about what I said...?

Wow, friends, can you believe the month of October is really almost over? Where did it disappear to?

Anyway, would you like to advertise on So About What I Said...? I'm accepting sponsors for November and December at the moment.

I have an array of awesome readers who shop online regularly and are always looking for unique and beautiful items (Yay vintage!). My blog and ad rates are ideal venues for small businesses.

I'd also be willing to do a giveaway with some of your beautiful products.

So About What I Said is a fast-growing blog in a very unique niche. Its readership is strong and growing. So about what I said... has received more than 100,000 visitors since its launch in November 2008, and receives approximately 15,000 visitors per month with many unique visitors plus nearly 1,600 subscribers.

Please email me for details at mellow1422 (at) aol (dot) com. Thank you so much, and I look forward to working with you!

Have a great day!




[Image designed by the wonderful Ez]

Adorable Animal Book Giveaway!

Today's lovely giveaway comes to us from the lovely lady behind TOTSPUPS-PUPS. A professional photographer, she recently published her first book of adorable pet photos. She's giving away a copy of the book to one lucky reader.

For your chance to win, simply cast your vote for the book in the Best Blurb Books Contest, and leave a comment below, along with your email address. A winner will be chosen at random on Friday, November 6.

Update: Congrats to our winner, Mindy! Thanks for playing!

How I Feel.

I wrote this short and sweet one about that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach every time I've ever had feelings for a guy who, close to 100 percent of the time, had those same feelings. The only problem was, they were for some other girl who seemed perfect and lovely and everything I wasn't. Have you ever felt like this?

I've seen the way you look at her
With that smile, it's like she's your whole world
And I sit silently and wonder how it would be if that were you and me
'Cause I can see us now, dancing in the moonlight, you holding my hand and making my eyes sparkle with your laugh
Should I tell you how I feel?

You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too

I'm the girl you walk past every day
The girl you see but don't know her name
And here I get goosebumps just watching you
So I smile and try to catch your eye
With my heart shaking inside
Feels like it's about to break
I know I'll never be the girl you choose
But I'll always be the girl who secretly loves you

You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too

You're the last boy I should be falling for
But maybe that makes me want you even more
And that other girl, does she know how lucky she is
To have you hanging on her every word?
Now every time I think of you, I see her face
And wish I could take her place

You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too

You're amazing
That's how I feel
You've got my heart racing
That's how I feel
I feel so much, but never say enough
But maybe if you knew
You could feel this way too

Now every time I think of you, I see her face
And wish I could take her place

[Photo via Awake In A Dream]

The Curious Case of Compulsive Honesty.

I received this email from a reader a few weeks ago:

I just wanted to send you an email to let you know how much I enjoy your blog. I came across one of your articles the other night and was hooked. I also deal with a physical disability and dating has been a thorn in my side I haven't wanted to deal with for the past 3 years. I've immersed myself in other things like my work and family that I have lost focus on the things I want in my life. I do miss having that special guy to share my life with.

You have inspired me to start up my own blog and share my experiences with the masses. I've been in some type of denial over the past decade regarding my limitations. But what I have learned is that I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. I've been down that road of self-pity and self-consciousness. I've come to realize that we all have our hurdles in life, it depends on how we deal with each one.

Thank you for being a voice for people with disabilities,

Elma

And then this message followed shortly thereafter:

I think you're very brave writing like you do.

Is it weird I've never felt like this was something so brave I was doing? Don't get me wrong, I love all the notes of love and support I receive from you lovely readers (people writing to me is still something I'm shocked at, no matter how many times it happens), but it never even dawned on me to be anything but honest - usually brutally so. I'm honest with people in real life (well, I try to be at least). I'm honest with myself. So is honesty something I should ever hide? I don't think I'll ever stop being honest.

I've read that some bloggers worry that wearing their hearts - and words - on their sleeve will someday backfire and hurt their love life. Well, OK, first that line of thinking is assuming one (i.e., me) has any sort of a love life to speak of - which, as you all painfully know, I don't. So I'm pretty sure I don't have to worry about hurting something I don't even have in the first place. Yet, anyway.


Second, maybe in the end, it will hurt more if I keep quiet. Yeah, that whole quiet thing. I've never been good at that - no, boys, not in thatway. So I'm going to continue to be honest, consequences be damned. No one will ever be able to say I wasn't real. And being fake is, surprisingly, becoming one of my biggest fears. I've seen too many people try to be someone or something they're not. And you know what? They just look miserable. You can tell putting up that huge facade is just draining them. I, my friends, will never be drained. You can count on that one.

What about in your own writing and blogging? Do you ever feel the need to pull back a bit on the honesty? Do you ever censor yourself?




[Photos via Audrey Hepburn Complex and Little Note]

Photos For You.

I thought we could all use a few little love photos on this Wednesday morning!




[Photos via ffffound and Little Note]

Dialing Mr. Wrong.

I've never understood the term falling in love. Well, not its true meaning anyway. The term always seemed like a misnomer to me, a sort of paradox. When you're supposedly "falling" in love, it's not like you're falling down some dark rabbit hole you'll never be able to crawl our of. It's more like you're riding a rainbow of happiness higher and higher until you begin to see the tips of white clouds and lush blue skies.

And then I met this friend.* Let's just say she can feel herself getting into a situation - one she never, ever, under any circumstances thought she'd be in.

She's, well, possibly, maybe, could-be looking in the direction of someone she shouldn't be. I mean, really, really shouldn't be. As in, "OMG, how did I (ooops, I mean she) get here and become this person?" shouldn't be.

Because after all, she never pictured herself as that girl. She used to reprimand those sorts of girls. She had the strength of an iron fist in her righteousness. At one time, she was content to do her ogling, giggling and swooning from afar - sometimes painfully afar, so far that she'd have to travel halfway around the world to even get to the category of afar. Now that she sometimes finds herself doing it up-close-and-personal style, she's not sure exactly how she feels about it.


And the more she tries to convince herself that it's most definitely not happening, she knows deep down that it is indeed happening. It's spiraling out of control and getting even worse with each passing day. She's ashamed yet she's not. She feels defeated yet incredibly strong for the first time in a long time, probably for the first time since her father died.

Why is it that we seem to fall so hard for the one person we're not supposed to fall for? Seriously. Of the billions of men in the world, she wonders why she had to ever fall for him.

But, then, I suppose that's what makes it so intoxicating in the first place, doesn't it? The fact that we can't - or we're not supposed to want to - have the one thing that will make us swoon with delight.


She, my friend, remember, wants this whole thing to end like a Disney fairytale. It probably won't. Knowing her luck, it will end like one of those Brothers Grimm nightmares.

What's your advice? You know, so I can pass it on to my friend. She asked me to post this for her. She's counting on you. Desperately.




[Photos via Audrey Hepburn Complex]

*I think we all know this friend's identity

Disabled Women Can't Be Sexy?

Have you been keeping up with the comments pouring in about my disability essay on TheFrisky? There are some lovely comments there, and well, some not-so-lovely comments. As you may remember, in the piece, I said I appreciate honesty immensely. The only exception to that rule is when said honesty is just plain, blatantly wrong.


This comment immediately caught my attention a few nights ago (and FYI, I didn't bother to correct the comma and apostrophe errors, but I did highlight my oh-so-very favorite parts for your easy reference):

I don’t know why the poster is asking the question when the answer is obvious, except to hear platitudes, but most people are not attracted to disbled people. Physically unattractive people are well, unattractive. Being really nice and funny just doesn’t cut it when it comes to romance. People don’t just want conversation from their partner, but an activity pal, someone who can take care of them, a sex partner, a wage earner, someone who if needed, can hold down the fort, someone who they feel proud to show off to their friends. I’m sorry the writer is lonely and having a difficult time, and it is unfair, but people go for the best mate they can possibly attract and a disabled person just can’t compete in looks, health, often in sex, income, activities, routines, and ease. Mostly though, I think its the looks. A deaf supermodel would not lack suitors.

Oh, lordy. It seems I've been living under a rock for the last decade. Frankly, that's the only way to explain why I haven't heard this new bit of shocking news about my people (yes, I call them my people; don't you have people, too?): Apparently, we're unattractive, sexless hollow, stone being.

I don't buy for one second that whole evolutionary theory. And what's more, I'm not sorry for chucking it out the window faster than a swine-flu tainted napkin, either.

I'm not sure what's more demeaning and more deplorable: men's excuses of being lazy, or people in general just accepting that "this is the way things are."

The (honest, honest; remember, I don't deliver it any other way...) truth: Women and men with disabilities can be and certainly are attractive. So we might not be society's glamorized version of what gorgeous and beautiful should be, but honestly, when you think about it, who really is?


I suppose I have to believe, at least for my sake, that there are people (especially guys) out there who are above this, who see past those evil superficialities. It's not that I'm trying to delude or convince myself into believing something that isn't true. I don't live in fantasy land. I understand that the world can be a very cynical and superficial place, but it doesn't have to be like that. I suppose I have to continue hoping that it doesn't have to be like that, at least.

Now, I might be in the minority here, but that's OK with me. I've lived my life in the minority for 28 years, and you know what? The view isn't all that bad. I think I'll stay right where I am.




[Photos via Naive]