Breaking News: Blackberry Goodness.

If you know me well, you'd know that when it comes to all things technology, I tend to be, well frankly, a bit behind the times. I used cassettes (yes, I mean cassette tapes, here until roughly 1999 - the first CD I ever bought was ...Baby One More Time if you must know. I was reluctant to get a DVR until just a few years ago because of my deadly fear of change. And I darn near cry every time I'm forced to get a new wheelchair and say goodbye to my old one - the one that had served me so well over the last few years (we'd sure been through a heck of a lot together).

So, suffice it to say, new, hip technology and I have never really been the best of friends. OK, truth be told, I'd always hated those high-tech gadgets with a passion. There was simply just too much to figure out; give me the good old standard of everything, and I'd be a happy gal.

And then last Friday, a little guy waltzed into my life. His name? Blackberry. Now, I'd always wanted a Blackberry, but always thought I couldn't swing the extra expense. Well, thanks to some recent writing work, apparently, I could swing the expense because I found myself walking out of U.S. Cellular smiling as if I just walked out of a candy store and made off with a loot of those candy dots that came on strips of paper.

With that, I give you the debut of my Blackberry Tour 9630.
Plus, I couldn't resist taking a few photos with it!

This whole concept of being able to be online while lying in my comfy bed at night is at once dangerous and intoxicating at the same time. And yes, those photos are indeed of me lying in my warm bed. And yes, I did write the majority of this post from my bed!

Now all I have to do is dive into the world of Crackberry, a club I once thought would shun me from its lovely gates forever!

P.S. Oh, and I may have a little surprise for you in the coming days. Hint: video blog, anyone?

A Woman's Word: The I HEART Inspiration Project.

As you know, I've kept a journal since I was 9 years old. The notebooks contained mostly words (I am a words-smith, after all) and the occasional photo of George Clooney I'd printed off the Internet and carefully taped into the hallowed pages.

But recently, I've heard so much talk about keeping an inspiration journal - a beautiful notebook filled with your favorite photos and quotes that you can turn to any time you need a shot of the inspiration juices. Have you visited Micaela of The Drifter and the Gypsy lately? It turns out she's embarking on a similar project known as the I HEART project. Check out my interview with this fabulously inspiring lady and take part in the project. Let the inspiring begin!
How did the project come about?
After I posted about inspiration books, I was surprised by the overwhelming interest, and that got me thinking maybe I should do something with inspiration notebooks on a larger scale, and it sort of snowballed from there.

What is the purpose?
The purpose of this project is to bring the blogging community together. We "talk" all the time on the Internet, whether it be commenting on each other's blogs, twitter, emailing, etc. So why not start something hands-on? What can be more fun than participating in something worldwide, and in the end, compile it all together?

What inspires you?
SO MUCH inspires me. Photography, nature, vintage things, old movies, books, and of course, all your lovely blogs.

What can people do to bring more inspiration into their lives?
There are various ways...I let inspiration into my life when I started my blog, The Drifter and the Gypsy. Also, I've recently picked up photography (you can see one of my photos here). People have to stop and be able find the beauty of even the most mundane things in the world.
Thanks so much for the feature, Melissa! Don't forget to join my I HEART project, and add the inspiration from your corner of the world!

[Photos via The Drifter and the Gypsy]

Our City Lights Giveaway!

Have you had the pleasure of visiting Diana of Our City Lights lately? She constantly amazes me with her tremendous talent. Today, she's offering one lucky reader this set of 5 library-themed Christmas cards (perfect timing, right?) valued at #17.50, along with a Christmas print. For your chance to win, simply visit her lovely shop and leave a comment below as well as your email address. A winner will be chosen at random tomorrow afternoon. Good luck!

Update: Congrats to our winner, Seyma! Thanks to everyone who entered! xoxo

MEMO TO MEN: What A Mighty (Real) Man.

MEMORANDUM
TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: The measure of a man
DATE: November 30, 2009

Hello, boys, have you read this recent quote from one of my favorites, Terrence Howard? He says:

Young men tend to come into relationships feeling very strong and powerful, and they make a lot of mistakes. But they soften when they have daughters. You see women through a whole different light, because now you know that they were once someone's little girl. I wish I'd had this knowledge when I was 20. I wish I could call all the women I've ever dated and apologize. I didn't know how precious they were. I know better now.

Wow. There's so much damn goodness in that quote that I'm sort of at a loss as to where to start. OK, not really. You know what I'm getting just a wee bit jaded about? Young guys and their attitudes. That's right, boys, you heard me correctly. Your attitude. It's just, well, for lack of a better word: BAD. That's it. You have a bad attitude, a chip on your shoulder the size of Mount Everest. Tell me...how did it even get there in the first place? Did you not receive enough love/too much love when you were a child? Are you trying to overcompensate for something lacking in your life? Or is that just your normal, default setting?
But, there's hope for you, thanks to Terrence's lovely piece of advice. You don't have to live this way. You aren't doomed to make all these relationship mistakes and break girls' heart (i.e. mine). You can break the cycle before it's too late and you've resorted to singing country-western songs about all those chances you blew when you were young. Oh, yes, be afraid -- I've seen it happen. One too many times, actually.

This is what a real man is:
*Honest
*Hard-working
*Family oriented
*Sees a life beyond next weekend or the next new video game release
*A good listener

And some things a real man is not:
*Lazy
*An excuse-maker (you know who you are, boys, and there seems to be quite a lot of you out there these days, sadly)
*Someone who only sees the outside of a person
*Immature (read: GROW UP)
*Dishonest and overall disinterested - in life, in people, basically in anything but himself
So, please, for the sake of your future relationships (that's assuming you'll be lucky enough to have them), please call, write, email, text, sky-write, send a singing telegram, make some sort of connection to all those girls you may have done wrong in the past. I know I'll be waiting for your call.

[Photos via Le Love and Little Note]

Man Candy Monday: Special Assortment Edition.

My friends, men, like many things in life, are like a box of chocolate: Variety is the spice of life. Also, and maybe this is even a wee bit selfish on my part, you can never eat just one - metaphorically speaking, of course. So in the spirit of that sentiment, not to mention the fact that the holidays are fastly approaching, I thought that we could all use a little smorgasbord of studs this week.

My only request: Please, if you take a bit out of one of these pieces of damn fine candy, do not put it back in the box because you don't like the flavor. Thank you, snd I hope you do enjoy!







[Photos via PEOPLE]

P.S. If you're interested in advertising, I've added a SPONSOR INFO button to your right. Looking forward to hearing from you!

SUNDAY Column: The Consequences of Suicide.

It looks like my column last week had quite the impact (read the comments here). I must say, I enjoyed reading all your comments.

Whatever your views on suicide, it’s important to talk about it and get it out there into society’s consciousness. So, in that spirit, I give you the other half of my interview with Dr. Leslie Seppinni, an L.A.-based clinical psychologist with experience as a Crisis Intervention Specialist.

What advice do you have for those who are suicidal?
Seek counseling immediately; don't wait. Talk to your loved ones and friends. The more you reach out, the less likely you are to actually do it. The more you're willing to open up, the less likely you are to take action. Stay away from alcohol and drugs and other depressants. Have someone stay with you if you feel it's not safe for you to be alone. Remove dangerous items you may be tempted to use [to harm yourself] like guns, pills, etc.

What advice do you have for those left behind after a loved one takes his/her life?
You will go through the Kübler-Ross five stages of grief and will need grief counseling where you talk through your trauma. Everyone closely affected should go to grief counseling, especially children who will sometimes blame the surviving parent for the death of the spouse, saying things like, “You were too hard on him or you wanted too much.”

You want to reduce the guilt and blaming, which is unhealthy. Kids will often feel they should have been able to prevent it, or may feel guilty over the last mean thing they said to the person who committed suicide. Sometimes, they use the act as a comparison for their lives, like, “If that person couldn't make it, then how am I going to?”

Pay attention and have interventions early. You especially want kids and family members to know what will happen next, sometimes with things such as finances if the person gone was your main means of support. Sometimes, you will find out that the person who committed suicide had a lot more secrets such as debt that may end up being devastating.

Prepare your family and kids, and work with a therapist to determine what information you learned about the person gone is really necessary to share with everyone. Not everything may need to be said publicly.

Is there anything else you think I should know?
If someone, especially children, actually saw the person commit suicide, or have the trauma of being exposed to it, they may have much higher Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is life-altering to have someone take their life in front of you, so they may need extensive counseling, and participate in age-appropriate support groups. Above all, people who have been personally touched by suicide need to reach out for help from their network of friends and family. It's not a good time to isolate yourself – stay connected.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, remember: there is help. Call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. For more information on suicide and its prevention, visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Web site at www.afsp.org.

Have A Wonderful Weekend.

My friends, have you recovered from the sleep-induced effects of the turkey yet? Hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving. What are you plans for the weekend? Today, I'm (finally!) going to see New Moon, and am dragging my mother along for the ride (the only way she'd go is if I buy her a new purse; I figure it's an even trade, don't you? I'd love to hear what you have planned for the weekend! Check out my Top 5 Favorite Blogs this week:

life is BANANAS: She's funny, smart and sassy; what more could you want?

WHAT IS JAMES WEARING: A man named James in various attire. LOVE it.

The Bright Side Project: A daily dose of inspirational sunshine!

Music + Pixels: This is genius; song lyrics represented graphically

The Daily Nail: One woman, 365 days, a different nail color every day

And as usual, hope you enjoy these fetching finds from the Web this week...

Lace love

What is the best present you've ever received?

Warning: Avoid saying these 10 phrases in the workplace

Oh, and avoid these 10 work habits as well

Are we really that obsessed with Levi Johnston?

I'd love to hibernate during the winter in one of these forts

Never give up on following your dream

Oooh, check out the sparkly sequins on these shoes!

Confession: I still watch The Real World with the same excitement I did when I was 13

Genius: Soda pop heaven

The trailer for the movie Nine is sort of intriguing

Would someone like to take a getaway with me?

Awww, I got a blog award

Pretty heart photos

I still have a soft spot for the Beaver

What did you think of Adam Lambert's American Music Awards performance?

Yum, yum! I just want to gobble up this miniature heart pie

Yay for the benefits of kissing

Yikes, have you ever lusted after a friend's significant other?

Men: Six things you should know about us women

Hmmm, maybe I'll get the chance to use these first-date icebreakers someday...

Isn't it time to start loving your body, imperfections and all?

Poll: Are these men sexier than Johnny Depp?

Here are 5 types you should never date

These are the most controversial kisses in pop culture history

A thankful heart

I'm loving this inspiration project

[Photo via Abby Sharp]

Dating With Disabilities: The Challenges of Dating When Disabled.

Teaser: For nearly a year now, you’ve seen me write about my lack of a love life and my search for one with a physical disability. This week, I got the chance to hear someone else’s story – a story that I could instantly identify with, and one that didn’t make me feel so alone in my aloneness when it comes to all things love. Meet 29-year-old Amanda Wilson from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who has had Cerabral Palsy since birth. I had the chance to chat with her recently about the struggles she faces in dating with disabilities.



Dating With Disabilities: The Challenges of Dating When Disabled

[Photo via Le Love]

Freaky (Funny!) Friday.

Previously on The Melissa Diaries: My summer was beginning to resemble a heinously bad Lifetime movie. I was losing myself in a sea of boys, who, frankly, I'm not sure even deserved my glance, let alone any amount of attention. Boy, I wish there was a song about summer troubles. Oh, wait, there is...it's called Cruel Summer. And what a cruel summer it was turning out to be.

What Are You Thankful For?

Oh my, friends, can you believe it's Thanksgiving already? Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. When I was young, my mother would make an elaborately scrumptious breakfast of bacon, eggs and blueberry muffins, and then we'd all huddle around the living room television and watch the parade. Then, after we'd had our fill of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and pie, my father would inevitably fall asleep by 4 o'clock from turkey overconsumption. But you know what? I am so very grateful for those lovely memories.

So, tell me, friends, what are you grateful for this year? Here's wishing (as I metaphorically raise a tall glass of apple juice in the air) everyone a Happy Thanksgiving full of love, laughter and of course a second helping of pie -- with extra, extra whipped cream.

[Photo via We Heart It]

Love Lounge: Love (Or Lust) At First Sight?

When I was 13 and met Crush Boy for the first time, I had pretty much decided it was love at first sight. Only a few months after we met. It had to be, or at least that's what I told my diary in...every...single...entry. Now, I was only 13, mind you, which is quick young, don't you think? And brace yourself: By the time I'd turned 15, I vowed (in full-on seriousness here, as only a teenage girl can pull off), I declared that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him.

Well, flashforward some 15 years, and we're living happily ever after with two beautiful children and a dog, in a gorgeous house with a a green lawn on which we spend our evenings drinking lemonade and waxing poetic about how romantic our story turned out.

Can you detect my tone of sarcasm? Sadly, no, things didn't turn out that way...So now I feel like I want to take a step back from starry-eyed love and rose-colored glasses and look at love from another angle. Maybe starry-eyed love moments that involve Hugh Grant or John Cusack lookalikes really only do exist in romantic comedies that have everything nicely scripted. I'd love to hear what you think...

*Do you believe in love at first sight?

*Has it ever happened to you

*If love at first sight doesn't exist, how long do you think it takes to truly "fall" for someone, whatever that means?

[Photos via We Heart It]

Inspiration: Whimsical Weddings.

Most people get "wedding fever" during the summer months, but as the weather continues to turn colder, the temperature continues to steadily rise on my Wedding Fever Meter. And it rose even higher when I discovered this wedding shoot that is just so lovely and creative and original.

I love how the bride, Kim, summed up their nuptials: "The spirit behind our wedding could be summed up in one word: FUN! We both really wanted a wedding that felt “like us,” which in our case meant lots of personal touches and a joyous, light-hearted, not-too-formal vibe."

I wonder what my future husband will think of this idea? A bit too much, or just suits my personality perfectly. I think the latter, don't you? I love the reds and whites; I'm definitely going to have balloons at my wedding - my latex allergy be damned!

[Photos via Once Wed]

P.S. I'm in love with those ring photos too. Did you notice they're around the paper straws? I didn't notice that at first...what a nice touch! And those ruby red shoes....they're tempting me again!

How I Feel (In 5 Photos) Wednesday.

Happy Wednesday, friends! I love sending subliminal messages to people, don't you?

[Photos via Little Note]

Would You Like To Advertise For The Holidays?

Would you like to advertise for December and beyond? So about what I said... is excited to offer advertising opportunities to online shop owners, photographers, bloggers and designers. Ads are displayed and rotated weekly on the left sidebar.

Stats:
Site: melissabxoxo.blogspot.com
Number of subscribers (via Feedburner and Google): 1,700
Daily readers: 400 + unique IPs
Weekly readers: 2,697
Daily page views: 800
Weekly page views: 5,393
Number of visits in last 12 months: 111,577

I have an array of awesome readers who shop online regularly and are always looking for unique and beautiful items. My blog and ad rates are ideal venues for small businesses.

I'd also be willing to do a giveaway with some of your beautiful products.

Please email me for details at mellow1422 (at) aol (dot) com. Thank you so much, and I look forward to working with you!

Have a great day!

[Image designed by the wonderful Ez]

MEMO TO MEN: The Shrinking Violet Syndrome.

Note: I originally posted this a few weeks ago, but it somehow disappeared (is there a Web burgular I don't know about?), so I thought this week would be a good time to re-post it for those who may have missed it. Boys, you know who you are...

MEMORANDUM
TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Blooming musings
DATE: November 24, 2009

A reader recently left this comment in one of my posts:

If this blog is truly about your search for love then the readers would like to see more of that search. Right now all we are reading about is your complaints as to why guys do not approach you/notice you/etc... Searching doesn't mean sitting and waiting for Prince Charming to come rescue you.

At first, I just scoffed at it. Honestly, I didn't give much credence to it at all. But that quote stuck with me for some reason, dancing around in my head as I'd be doing other things: putting laundry away, working on other articles, drifting off to sleep at night. I kept coming back to it for some reason, so eventually, I took that as a sign. Was it trying to tell me something? It probably was.

I thought about it. And thought about it. And thought about it, and as you know, when I start thinking about things sometimes, those thoughts tend to become like that Elmer's glue you used to get on your hands when you were a kid - even days later, you're still peeling off layer after white layer.

And that's when I realized: I'd been so quick to dismiss the comment because it struck a nerve. A very sensitive nerve, apparently. It was almost as if it were an automatic reflex, like jerking your hand away from a flame-burning stove.

Maybe some wound - a wound I didn't even know I had - is still fresh.

But the truth is, I want to search for love, but I'm sort of scared, you know? And I hate being that girl who's scared. I hate feeling like I want to recoil and avoid getting close to anyone, especially a guy I may give my heart to, only to have him run away with it and never come back. I'm not usually that girl.

I'm supposed to have the answers, aren't I? Or at least, I should know where to find them, right? I'm supposed to have Super Woman confidence, right?


How is it, then, that I can be so self-confident on the inside (and on this little blog), but when I see you in the flesh, I become a Bumbling Betty? I'm not sure if that's pathetic, endearing or both; I'm thinking it's more toward the pathetic side, right?

I know this probably sounds incredibly paranoid, but it's as if I always feel your eyes staring at me. I know you're not, at least not in that way (yet...!), but I'm usually so afraid of saying something wrong (something so very, very wrong), so I just keep my mouth shut. And I've done that for far too long, haven't I?

You just have a way of making me come so unglued, so undone (and, as much as I'm sure you'd like it, I'm not talking about the buttons on my shirt here)


Maybe it's one of those things where I just have to jump head-first. Instead of inching forward at a cautious snail's pace, perhaps I just need to take one giant leap and see where I land.

I'm not trying to justify anything here; I'm merely trying to figure out how to bridge this apparent Grand Canyon-sized gap in my thinking and actions.

Do you ever feel this way?

[Photos via Audrey Hepburn Complex]

Tales From The Trenches: The PostSecret Edition.

Seeing as it's a holiday week, I thought I'd interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to save the original tales for when I've got your full, not-turkey-and-stuffing obsessed attention. So with that, I bring you these heartfelt messages from PostSecret. Laugh and enjoy!

What Makes You Smile?

I've always tried to live life by this rule: Life is meant for lots of smiles. Through good times and not-so-good times. I've always been a fan of smile therapy. It's simple: Just smile. Did you know smiling can relieve stress, boost your immune system and can even be contagious? So tell me, friends, what makes you smile? Some things that make me smile lately...

*No matter how many times I watch Frasier with my mom, we still laugh until the tears start rolling down our cheeks.

*Singing along at the top of my lungs to my itunes playlist when no one else is home.

*The lovely and awesomely talented Annemarie of Brunch at Saks helped me put the finishing touches on the final re-design/tweaking of So about what I said... Don't you love the Hot Spot buttons and heart-shaped icons she made me?

[Photo via We Heart It]

P.S. Annemarie also made this nifty badge for me, so feel free to spread the So about what I said... love!

Inspiration: Romantic Dresses and Ruby Shoes.

One of the only downsides of having a disability (well, that, and being just shy of 4-feet tall) is being unable to twirl in a pretty dress, complete with ruby-red shoes. I know, it's a bit shallow, but I've always fancied spending the day at a huge department store, trying on dresses in every shade of the rainbow, finding one I adore and then twirling in it until I get dizzy. I've also always been a wee bit obsessed with Dorothy's sparkly red shoes from The Wizard of Oz. Some people dream of buying a shiny new car when they become famous, but seeing as I can't drive, I've decided that my first big splurge will be a private tailor to custom make me twirl-worthy dresses and colorful shoes. I look forward to getting very, very dizzy someday.

Every girl should get to twirl once in her life, right? And by golly, I want to twirl.

[Photos via Nadinoo and Audrey Hepburn Complex]

Dating With Disabilities: You Know Who You Are.

Teaser: Wow, I can't believe it. I really can't. So this is how it ends, how the curtains close on my little play? I have to say, I'm rather quite disappointed in all of this. It didn't have to go down like this. And yet, in some way, I suppose I’m not that surprised either. Maybe things would have eventually ended like anyway. Maybe it was only a matter of time.


Dating With Disabilities: You Know Who You Are

[Photo via We Heart It]