It's been 7 years ago today since my dad died. I'm spending a lot of time reflecting over everything that happened that day...seems I do that a lot, but more than ever, I'm replaying everything in my head today. Those photos are of my family and me when we went to New York City for the first time in 2002. It's bittersweet to look at those photos now and know that that was the last trip we ever took together. Two months later, he was diagnosed with sinus cancer, and another four months after that, he killed himself.
You all know about my anger toward my father. You've read about it in countless posts. And while, yes, I AM angry at him today - angry for leaving the family he supposedly loved more than anything, angry that I never got a proper chance to say goodbye - I know that under all that angry bravado is a daughter who is wounded and deeply misses her father. I may deny it, but not a day goes by that deep down in my heart, under those layers of anger, I just miss him.
I wish you were here, Dad. I miss you. And I'm sorry.
P.S. Time is so precious and short, so spend as much of it with the people you love while you have the chance.