Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Love Lounge: Do You Love Yourself Today?

I’ll be the first to admit that my physical disability has impacted my love life - or as some may point out, lack thereof. At first, I kept wondering what was wrong with me: Do I scare guys away? Is there some inherent flaw within me?

But then it dawned on me: I wasn’t comfortable with myself, in my own skin. The moment I stopped being so self-conscious of my body and started really loving myself for who I was, suddenly, I wasn’t so eager to find The One. And I also realized that any guy who can’t handle my disability isn’t even worth my time in the end.

The greatest love affair you’ll ever have is with yourself. Don't hide. Any. Part. Of. Yourself. So tell me, friends, what did you do today in honor of loving yourself?

[Photo via Audrey Hepburn Complex]

26 comments:

  1. I love this.

    I haven't really done much at all yet today. In fact, I feel rejected.

    I think I'll make it a day for myself and all my hobbies. :)

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  2. I posted about my most embarrassing moment and had a great laugh about it with my blogger friends; took a bath gave myself a pat on the back {JUST BECAUSE} and made myself some penne pasta with sweet peas and a little bolognaise sauce. I'm about to curl up with a Sex and The city Marathon. I love me today plus my bf is away for the day so I have the house to myself.

    http://beesdiaries.blogspot.com/2010/07/embarrassment-101.html

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  3. Impacted your love life? No. Try obliterated it. Of course, you scare guys away. Why do you pretend to wonder what is wrong with you?

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  4. Anonymous- that was a little harsh. You do realize you are not completely anonymous and finding your identity just takes a few extra steps? I'm not sure why you want Melissa to feel bad but I have a feeling it's more to do with your own personal issues than your feelings towards her.

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  5. Melissa - You're completely right. You have to know your worth, and how amazing you are!
    And if unhappy people make mean comments (above), well, they have a much bigger problem that they have to live with, and it's sad, really. They don't have the confidence and love for themselves that you do.
    Thanks for inspiring us today, Melissa - to take the time to see what's great about each of us :) You're amazing!!

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  6. Well said! Recently I adopted a new motto "Life is too short for it not to be fabulous". I'm trying to stop feeling guilty about not getting chores done, or crossing things off my list and instead focus on things that make me happy. The other things will fall into place!

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  7. I'm going to start saying that to myself, Ashleigh!! It's great!! :)

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  8. I put in long hours at my office, leaving very little time to myself each day. I get out of bed at 4:20 every morning and do 30 minutes of yoga before the sun rises. It gets my day off to a nice, quiet start and allows me to wake up and breathe. Then I go for a half hour run when I get home from work. It lets me decompress and get rid of the day's stress. I exercise because I love myself.

    Excellent post, Melissa. :)

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  9. What a truly inspirational post! That's so true though, as long as you're not comfortable with yourself no one else will ever be. I think you're an utterly wonderful person and you show that so beautifully through your words and images!

    Ashleigh's quote above is too perfect! Hell, let's just be fabulous and forget about the world!

    Have a fantastic day

    xoxo

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  10. Today I ate yogurt and fruit for lunch, not for a diet, but because it was yummy and fresh and I was craving it. It's so nice not to feel guilty about food or deny myself what I want--it is nice when it happens to be healthy ;)

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  11. First off Anon... well you are entitled to your beliefs and opinions there is no reason to be mean and hurtful.

    In fact I am feeling in a bit of a funk lately, I have been searching for the right career and not a job so to say, you have inspired me to do something today because I love myself, well I can do many things because I love myself. I will start by drinking the last ice cold can of diet pepsi, then take some time out from all my crazy work I have to get done today to do some stretching and take a walk on my lunch, instead of working through it. I grew up with my dad only having one arm, he would do so many things, one time while up underneath the dash of the car he was able to twist into a tight spot. I was there helping and he looked up and said "good thing I don't have that other arm to get in the way! I would have never been able to finish this."

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  12. I can very much relate to this. While struggling with my own often bewildering health issues and their disabling effects, I began to question my attractiveness to healthy men. Learning to love myself, body quirks and all, is a huge step toward my healing. It's also a very attractive quality to a man. There's nothing sexier than a woman comfortable in her own skin.

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  13. hi, single, you're right! if you're comfortable, I'd love to have you write something about that for my blog sometime! :)

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  15. i actually feel a little dejected in that i don't exactly want to be me today.. but shopping always cheers me up and so my bestie and i will shop our hearts out!
    great post melissa.. i guess no one can love you or make you happy until you can do those things for yourself :)

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  16. People find it hard to believe but I met my guy one week to the day I had my 34 year old daughter's wake. I also have Multiple Sclerosis and am deaf.

    It's been one helluva year but he saved me.

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  17. It's so ironic that you would post about this today because just yesterday, I made a really important decision based on what was best for me and what made me happy, and not what would please others. I feel proud of myself and very accomplished :)

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  18. I just discovered your blog and immediately fell in love with it! I have to admit that this is probably mainly because I feel like: "If a disabled girl like this can be this optimistic and self-assured, I can!" And I'm probably discriminating if I think this way, because why shouldn't you be?!
    A lot of people, me included, tend to feel like they were worth less because they don't live up to ideas of what's beautiful and what's normal. Your blog, and especially this post puts these issues into perspective. We should remind ourselves more often that flawless perfection isn't the only form of beauty (and besides that, it's rather boring). True, interesting beauty always has to do with personality. It has to do with enthusiasm, accomplishment, uniqueness, developing your own style.

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  19. Melissa,

    Thank you for having the courage to firstly admit you're dating life has been greatly impacted by your disability and secondly that you haven't been kind enough to yourself/loving yourself enough. Everyone struggles with who they are and trying to identify themselves no matter at what age. You really bring up topics most people are afraid to speak about or the subject matter is identified as being 'weak' in American society. You greatly reminded me today that I need to love myself even when I feel at my worst (like today). Thanks so much!

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  20. Thanks, Erin, you've made my day!! xoxo

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  21. This would have to be one of the most beautifully written blog pieces I have ever come across! Thankyou for being genuine :)


    - Dannielle

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  22. You're completely right. You have to know your worth, and how amazing you are!And if unhappy people make mean comments (above), well, they have a much bigger problem that they have to live with, and it's sad, really.

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  23. Sometimes it can be hard to find things what we like or love about ourselves. But this blog is good. Thanks for sharing.

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Your lovely comments make my day so much sweeter! Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!

xoxo

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