TO: Men all over the planet
RE: The excellent ex.
DATE: September 20, 2011
Please note, boys: This is meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek and not meant to be taken too seriously.
Are you over your ex or not? Because I sort of don't want to hear about her. How kind she was. How funny she was.
You know very well, boys, that I don't have an ex to speak of, but that doesn't mean I absolutely love the whole talking-about-your-ex trend. In fact, I'm not a huge fan of it at all. Maybe I'll never understand the power of an ex, boys, until I get my first scar from one. A person holds such a large part of your heart for so long, and for them to just suddenly be out of your life is unimaginable. Of course you'd want to relive those happy memories. I'm just not sure we need to relive them in the bread aisle of Wal-Mart, as we're arguing over white or wheat and your entire testimony is based on the fact that, "[Insert ex's name] liked white." I often wonder, too, if there's a magical moment when you'll suddenly stop referring to your ex, a time when her name will no longer roll off your tongue so easily. Maybe it's sort of like food. There's an expiration date, and once that date has passed, you just have to throw it out and move on.
And I'm sure it works the same way for you. You probably get really tired of hearing about your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend really fast. Maybe she even compares you to him without even realizing it. How smart he was. How considerate he was. How he always knew just what to say to make you smile. But when you think about it, chances are that you're probably someone's ex too, so somewhere, someone is probably talking about you and comparing all your good qualities to someone else. Maybe that's just the cyclical Karmic nature of relationships.
So, the bottom line, boys: I'm not your ex. I'm never going to be your ex. So how about we turn over a new leaf and build some memories of our own? Memories that you can take with you and share with a future girlfriend later. Because I'm going to look spectacular... :)
[Photos via Le Love]