TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Looks can be deceiving
DATE: February 15, 2012
Everything looks good from the outside, boys. Perfect, even. The house on the end of the busy street, with its perfectly manicured lawn and its beautiful olive-green shutters. The majestic blue 1950s Corvette, its fresh coat of paint still soft to the touch.I'm thinking the same logic applies to people, too, and I can't help but question: Why is it so hard to tell people how we really feel? Why do we feel like we have to hide? And, if we're always putting on an act for people, doesn't it become that much harder to truly know someone?
I'll be the first to admit that years ago -- and especially the first few years after my father's death -- whenever anyone asked the all-too-popular question, "How are you," I'd reply like I usually do.
"Oh I'm fine."
"I can't complain."
"I'm good. And you?"
I'm not really sure if I actually believed it, or if I had just said it so often that I tricked myself into believing I believed it. I got really good at it, though. It's not anyone's fault. No one is to blame, of course; it's just that we're a product of our culture, whether we like it or not. We expect people to "pull themselves up by their boot straps," to be the strong, silent type. Any hint of emotion and we get scared.
Sadly, though, there has to be some point where we realize that's not healthy. We can't get to know someone, really know them, if we're not willing to get to know all of them. Scars and flaws and problems included. What would our world look like if, instead of soldiering our emotions, we laid them out. Not because we want sympathy (OK, maybe sometimes we do), but because we can't go through life alone. We need people. No one is an island, contrary to that pesky rumor Simon and Garfunkel started.
I challenge you this week, boys, to shred those stock answers you give — and get. Dig a little deeper. You just might realize you're not so scared of what you find after all. xoxo
[Photos via Le Love]
14 Comments:
Amen. I am so trying to do this in my life right now and it is so refreshing.
Amen! Well stated and so true.
I can't get past the sticky-wet-painted car in the driveway. Put that thing in the garage to protect it until it dries:-)
I think people (men) are inherently afraid to express their true feelings for fear of the reactions they'll get. And it is just easier to put up a facade sometimes.
such true words.. we all woman and ( I know ) mostly men, too have to open up more .. bless! x
Hello,
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Have a wondeful day
I just want to say you are wonderful and and truly gifted at writing xx
This is extremely ironic; I was talking about this kind of thing in my therapy session about how it has been so hard to open up to people lately (especially men).
Personally, in order for me to do it, I have to know the person real well, and it is also a matter of when. I've found that the earlier I open up to someone, the more likely I'll get taken advantage of. Although I am trying my hardest to break out of that mindset.
Alyx
Our deepest sorrows are not meant to be carried alone. Opening up to someone can help you so much in getting over something!!
your blog is too good:)
great advice, a good challenge for me :)I usually answer "great!" then turn the conversation to focus on the other person.
http://www.badbarbara.com
So well put! I am so fortunate to have a husband who is not only expressive himself, but has taught me to really open up too (so yes those guys are out there!)
xoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living
Deep. Stuff to actually realize and live. Ready to do that..
Thanks, friends, for these sweet comments. It's good to know that we can open up without being afraid!
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