Tuesday, March 27, 2012

MEMO TO MEN: The value of honesty

MEMORANDUM
TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: The honest truth
DATE: March 27, 2012
Boys, every so often when I'm watching TV, someone will say something that just resonates pure truth to me. Take a recent episode of Revenge, for example, in which this guy utters these words...

Whether we're together for a day, a week, a year, 10 years or forever, I'll always be honest with you.

Oh, honesty. That little word. It's a pesky little word, isn't it, boys? And yet, it holds so much weight in relationships -- both romantic and platonic. Maybe that's why, then, it's always surprised me when I see basic honesty ranking pretty low on some people's priority list; sometimes, it seems like honesty isn't even valued at all, instead, merely cast aside as if it were yesterday's trend. Dishonesty. It's almost become one of those nasty habits. Sure, it starts out small. Maybe you tell little white lies about what you did with your friends last night. But before you know it, lies are rolling off your tongue so fast and easy that even you're beginning to believe them. It's a scary thought, isn't it? It would be so easy to fall in one fell swoop and fall down the rabbit hole of your lies.
And by being honest, I'm not just talking about honesty when it's convenient for you, boys. I'm talking about full-blown, would-never-dream-of-lying honesty. There's comfort in knowing that at least one person in the world will always be honest with you, isn't there? It makes you feel as though you have someone to walk beside you in this crazy world, where everything can feel so uncertain at time. This can make all the difference in the world. I can guarantee that I will always be honest with you, boys. No matter what. Of all the ingredients for a healthy relationship, honesty takes the cake for me.

Because honesty, boys, comes down to a matter of respect. Respect for the other person. Respect for the relationship. And of course, respect for yourself. It means that you value yourself and the other person to want to make things work, to try your best and see where this relationship will take you. And that's the honest truth, boys. What do you think...? xoxo

[Photos via Le Love]

16 comments:

  1. I said in my wedding vows, "I promise never to lie to you."

    And I meant it! Here, here Melissa!

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  2. Beautiful Melissa.
    My hubby and I have always been honest with one another....it opens up the truth beautifully xx

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  3. I think some men really need to read this ;)

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  4. honesty is so important for BOTH parties. great reminder

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  5. I think you could not have said it any better...amen, sista!!! XO brynn

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  6. Hello Melissa--I'm Biddy Bytes and I'll put in my URL below (2 yrs. ago I didn't even know what that was)...I write of encouragement and hope, forged on life crises, and I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. I'll write a bit more when your topic's broader (actually, I could do a lot on male honesty, as you'll see on my site--bio page.) Some say the very concept is an oxymoron, but I breathe encouragement, my dear.)

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  7. The problem with lies is that you have to have a good memory. I think Mark Twain said that. If you were 100% honest with everyone, you soon wouldn't have any friends or spouse. One friend wants, no needs, little white lies. Her ego is too fragile to handle the cold hard truth. Another friend demands the uncensored truth. She is obsessive about her looks and needs honesty. I'm not sure if you can handle that kind of honesty. You seem to get defensive about a lot of things.

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  8. Honesty is so crucial to a relationship. Without it you have zero trust. So true!

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  9. Honesty is probably one of the most valuable part in friendship and love for me:) I will always appreciate the truth, with that comes trust etc.!!!!
    Have a lovely day!

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  10. Honesty is probably one of the most valuable part in friendship and love for me:) I will always appreciate the truth, with that comes trust etc.!!!!
    Have a lovely day!

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  11. Amen, sister! Honesty ranks at the top of the list for me. There is a big difference between a little white lie and a big bold faced lie. I can deal with those little ones, it's the big ones that I find to be crushing, especially in a romantic relationship.

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  12. My #1 rule is honesty.
    My friends have learned that and those that aren't my friends learned the hard way. I have a strange ability to remember pretty much everything (something I also hate).
    I wrote a blog post the other day that touches on this same subject. Briefly.

    JUST BE HONEST. Sure it might suck to hear it but at least I know you didn't lie to me and make a fool out of me.

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  13. hi m, i'll have to check out your post

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  14. I completely value honesty. However, there are some things in a friendship, or a relationship that I don't need to know. If my husband wants to watch porn on the internet, I don't really want to know that- so I'm totally okay if he doesn't tell me the truth about that (but also only because I don't really care...it's another thing if you're totally against that sort of thing).

    Just an example! Otherwise, I think honesty is very important.

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Your lovely comments make my day so much sweeter! Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!

xoxo

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