Thursday, May 17, 2012

Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #156.

Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:

Does embracing who you are ever become a hindrance to who you could be?

I've been thinking a lot about this question lately, Sweetpea, especially when it comes to my disability. We all have parts of ourselves that we readily embrace more than other parts. Maybe it's because we're more comfortable with them and other parts are simply too scary to confront -- at least for the time being. Or, maybe the opposite is true -- we work extra hard to embrace, well, the thing that at first feel so embraceable to us, and before we know it, that one thing has become the only thing. Everything else has seemingly been tossed aside.

Don't get me wrong, Sweetpea. I'm proud that I've gotten to a place in my life where my disability is just one part of me, not all of me. But sometimes I wonder if all the work I've done has come with a rather heavy price tag. Just think about it: How would your life be different today if you'd chosen to focus on a different aspect of yourself, cultivating it and watching it blossom? Would you be a different person? Though maybe you were able to strike a better balance than I was. I never want to forget who I am despite my disability because that would sort of negate everything I've worked so hard to do, you know? But at the same time, I do want to show that I've integrated my disability into the person I am today, which is someone who isn't ashamed of who she is. Sometimes, it feels like embracing is confused with settling. Embracing who you are doesn't mean "OK, this is who I am and there's nothing I can do about it."

Instead, it means -- at least to me -- that "OK, this is who I am right now and I am happy with the person I've become." So maybe when you look at things that way, embracing who you are is sort of like the on-ramp in the journey to the person you could be, to the person you are meant to be. So are we left accepting parts of ourselves at the expense of other parts? Something tells me all good things come in time. Wouldn't you agree, Sweetpea? Until we meet...

[Photos via Le Love]


  1. I really enjoy your attitude about things.
    I have had some ups and downs in my life and well sometimes I feel like they get the better of me. I try to think positively and that has gotten me where I am now.
    I wish you all the best for everything that comes your way.
    Thank you for such a positive spirit.

  2. You are definitely right! We may definitely cultivate one side of ourselves while sacrificing another side. It can be harder to take a view at the larger perspective when one (having to do with work or relationships) takes over!

    Chic 'n Cheap Living

  3. This is such a beautiful post, a beautiful letter.

  4. I must learnt to 'embrace' myself and not 'settle' with myself. Thank you for your post Melissa

  5. melissa this post is amazing! your writing is beautiful.

  6. Thanks for these sweet words, friends.

  7. Good for you, can be easy to get bogged down with things, so I'm glad you're being positive about things!

  8. What a great letter.

    I think it is important to love yourself while accepting your faults - we all have them.

    (I don't mean whatsoever your disability is a fault. I'm speaking about something different - like a short temper, etc., a personality aspect one wishes to improve.)

    I think we are all pretty much aware of our faults and that's why we get so defensive when others bring them up. The key is to be around friends and family who can guide you in a better direction without making you feel bad. Even tease you a little bit.

    Also, embracing that it's OK to make mistakes. I know I am super hard on myself - a million times harder than I would be on others.

  9. embracing vs settling...very good point, I totally agree :) I think embracing takes a lot of time and growth and effort. Thanks for sharing :)


  10. I love these...I've written and dictaed so many of these over the years, but never let them leave the comforts of my own journals or recorder. I think there's some jarring bravery in putting them into writing for the world to see. I shall publish one of my own for the universe to acknowledge. Thanks for the inspiration!!!


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