Thursday, August 09, 2012

MEMO TO MEN: On the beauty of growing up

TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Bye-bye, Peter Pan
DATE: August 9, 2012
So, boys, remember when we had that little talk about a little epidemic known as the Peter Pan Complex? That spell that just sort of takes over you, and you find yourself stuck, not wanting to grow up. I won't pretend to know the myriad of reasons as to why you're locked in the complex's ever-so-powerful clutches

I'm sure each of you who has ever suffered from this complex has your own back story. Maybe you were merely seduced. Maybe you had a traumatic upbringing. Though I suspect that the reason behind your inertia isn't nearly as important as the reasons why you should break free from it once and for all. And lucky for you, boys, I'm here to help. Why? Because seeing you put on those big boy shoes is a very attractive sight. Don't believe me? Well, I give you 3 reasons why growing up moves you up even higher on the sexiness scale...

Taking responsibility is hot
Those things that you think are "so for adults" -- managing your finances, taking your career seriously, being reliable and dependable -- are the very things that make you attractive. They help make you the sort of person people want to be around. With responsibility comes maturity, and I'd much rather feel safe and secure knowing that I could count on someone. It doesn't get much hotter than that.

Planning for the future shows commitment
There's no greater turn-off than someone who doesn't want to commit. Now, I'm not talking about those who have a fear of commitment here because that's different. I'm talking about who wish to have their cake and eat it too. There comes a time in life when you have to realize that playing the field for the rest of your life isn't necessarily going to make you the happiest. So you begin, even if slowly at first, to make plans for the future. You realize the value of commitment. You want to commit. And that's incredibly attractive.

Gaining self-confidence and knowing who you are comes with age
I'm sure I've said it before, but being comfortable in your own skin is one mighty sexy quality. It's like a magnetic force that makes people unable to resist you. It gives you this aura of positive energy about you, and if you ask me, boys, I'd much rather be around someone positive than someone oozing with negativity, wouldn't you?
Now, I'll be the first to admit that I did go through my own Mrs. Robinson phase (and if you don't know what I'm referring to, please go add The Graduate to your Netflix queue STAT...), and I used to think younger guys were the way to go. They made me laugh, had a Holden Caulfield-eque air about them (Holden happens to be one of my favorite characters from literature) and never took themselves too seriously. But that was just the problem. They didn't seem to take anything seriously. Life. Work. Love. It didn't matter. They walked through life as if it were one giant college keg party.

But as I got older and I really thought about it, that kind of life would, well, just seems like it would get old after awhile. Really old. I fear the day will come when I'm walking down the aisles of Toys R Us and see you helplessly trying to ride a bike that was too small for you 15 years ago. Please don't put me through that kind of trauma. It might give me post-traumatic stress disorder. You wouldn't want that, would you? I didn't think so, boys... xoxo

[Photos via Le Love]


  1. Oh my gosh! This post is AWESOME! I'm thinking about printing off a few copies of it and handing them out to my boyfriend's friends...

    But seriously ;)


  2. hahaha! So glad you enjoyed it, jessica! xoxo

  3. Ha! Oh I hear ya. I am always thanking my boyfriend's mom for raising him to be so responsible (as in I don't have to pick out his clothes or clean up after him...also he does his own laundry which is amaaaazing!)

  4. That responsibility section really rings true. It's all so well said, Melissa. I agree...might be useful to print it out for reference. :)

  5. That responsibility section really rings true. It's all so well said, Melissa. I agree...might be useful to print it out for reference. :)

  6. I remember a friend who would always try to set me up with guys who she thought "could use a good woman in their life." The problem is she meant that because they needed someone to make sure they got to work on time in the morning or remembered to pick up toilet paper or deodorant when they were running low. I always had a hard time explaining to her that I didn't want a child, I wanted a boyfriend. She's actually the person who introduced me to my husband but she told me she didn't think it would work out. I guess she figured since he already behaved like an adult and had control of his own life he didn't need me!


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