Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #162.

Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
Well, it's hard to believe that we've just had the last days of summer back here in 2012. Summers have always been pretty low-key for me, but I had a realization as I was brushing my teeth last night (it seems like that's when all these realizations come to me...coincidence?): This summer has been anything but low-key. In fact, it's been a pretty life-changing. It's been one of those summers that I wish I could have spent with you, you know? It was the sort of summer where you wish you could share everything that's happened with someone else. It was, bottom line, a summer of change. And for once, I'm actually excited about. It's the sort of change that actually has me looking forward to the future and feeling excited about it as opposed to the flippity-floppity, knot-turning feeling I usually get in my stomach at the mere utterance of the word change.

But I digress. This summer, Sweetpea, I felt like I was starting a new chapter in my life. It's a chapter I'm excited to dive into, and for the first time in a long time, the excitement is so refreshing and genuine. So what's got my stomach chock full of those good kind of butterflies, Sweetpea? Well, my career path, for one thing. After a little apprehension last spring about not returning to my job as a college newspaper adviser this fall, I've been working hard on taking my blog to full-time. It's one of the most satisfying things I've ever done, and sometimes -- as cliche as it sounds -- I don't know what I did in the days before blogs. I'm trying to work up the courage to dip my toes back in the world of freelancing. You remember how much I love magazines, don't you?
And the other life-changing event? Maybe it's not so much an event as it is the end of something. Therapy. I've been seeing a therapist every week for almost a year and a half (plus, I've been seeing a therapist on and off since my father died, and last month, I made the switch to every other week. It may seem like something small, but it's a milestone I'm quite proud of. If you had asked me two years ago, I'd have laughed and said, "Oh, me? Well, I'll probably be in therapy for the rest of my life." Sure, part of me is a little afraid of the day when I completely stop going. It's always been this sort of superstitious fear I have that if I stop going, I'll somehow get depressed again, but I know deep down that I'm a much stronger person now than I was two years ago; heck, I'm a much stronger person than I was just last year. Maybe that's why it's sort of a wild notion to think of how much stronger I'll be next year, the year after that -- even five years down the road.
For the first time in a long time, I'm not anxious about change. It's a good kind of change -- change I wasn't always convinced even existed until this summer. I'm excited for this next stage in my life, which is why I wish I could share my joy with you. But I'm pretty convinced that we'll talk all about this once we meet. And who knows...I'll probably have even more exciting things to tell you then. Exciting, isn't it, Sweetpea? Until we meet... xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]


  1. This is such a beautiful post–and a wonderful letter. It's been a summer of major change for me, too, and while it's been painful and challenging and sometimes nauseating, quite literally, it's also been so important, and so good.

  2. Melissa, that is so lovely! I am so happy for you. You are an inspiration to the rest of us that just keep going. but don't take the first (scary) step to something new and different. I am finally looking to leave the corporate world and perhaps write a little more and do something I love. We'll see!

    Chic 'n Cheap Living

  3. Lovely, Melissa. I'm so happy for you about the career change & the therapist. I hope all your dreams come true. xoxo

  4. I love this post. I wrote a similar one on Valentine's to my future husband (wherever the hell he may be - I swear some days I feel like giving him a good old arse kicking for taking so long!)

    Seriously, though ... beautiful post and I love that we have the same first name!

    New follower!


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