Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Would You Rather: Have a long or short engagement?

We've talked about engagement stories before, but I'd love to know: Would you rather get married shortly after getting engaged or wait awhile and have a longer engagement? My parents got engaged in December and were married the following June. But my grandparents? They met in February and got married just four months later, in June, shortly before my grandfather left for World War II. Yikes! I can't imagine that. But then you hear stories about couples who have been engaged longer than they dated, and they still don't have a wedding date set.
What about you, friends? If you're married, how long was your engagement? Looking back, was it too short? Too long? Just right? What factors went into deciding the length of your engagement? Do you think the standards are different today than they were, say, 10 or 20 years ago? Let's chat! xoxo

P.S. What did you think of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' short engagement?

[Photos via Le Love]


  1. We got married 16 months after getting engaged. Ideally I would have loved it to have been under a year but the fate of getting married was in the hands on when I was allowed to move to the US. We also got engaged after being together only 11 months. But this way was right for us. I would of hated a long engagement, sometimes I think people just get engaged for the sake of being able to say it. I have a school friend that got engaged over four years ago and have never made any plans to get married. Makes you wonder why not!

  2. With my first husband, we lived together for 2 years then one day he asked me to marry him. I said yes... And we got married -that-very-day. We were 20 and 21, the whole thing was extremely romantic. My second husband and I were engaged for a year. I should have never married him. At 43 (fast approaching 44) I'm lucky enough to have found a wonderful man that I consider the love of my life. We've been together for 4 years and have been reluctant to make it legal seeing as we both have 2 divorces under our belts. I always think of Charlotte from the Sex In The City Movie where she happily tells the strangers around her that her friends are finally getting married -they've been dating for 10 years. :)

  3. Well I have lived with my boyfriend for 4 years, we got engaged in January, and plan on marrying in October of 2013. So our engagement will be just under 2 years long which strangely enough has freaked some people out. Truthfully I could wait another year because I want to pay everything off and not go in debt.

  4. we had a short engagement at the recommendation of friends and family that had a mixture short and long ones. It was about 4 months. The venue and photographer we liked were available so it made sense and was fairly stress free.

    We knew we wanted to get married long before the engagement so we just used those 4 months to finish some of the details.

    We had heard that a long engagement leaves room to change your mind on colors and other non-essentials and that it ends up being more expensive.

    I think that however long it takes to prep for a great MARRIAGE and not just a WEDDING is most important and probably different for every couple :)

  5. Hmm, this is a tough question. I think I would like to be engaged for a little bit after my future husband proposes. Like I want to be engaged for a while but at the same time, not too long either. I can't really explain it. But I want to be able to enjoy being engaged for a little bit, if that made any sense. LOL.

    Want to win a $30 coupon to Chicnova? Come and enter here! :D


  6. My husband proposed to me and we were married three months later. Like your grandmother, my husband is in the military. I think short engagements are such a common thing in the military world, I even wrote a post on it... http://homefrontunited.com/2012/08/going-against-the-grain-justice-of-the-peace-ceremony/

  7. Anon: Say hi to Satan for me.

  8. Anonymous: What is up with you? Did something really heavy fell on to your head today? Or is this your normal way? Nobody, really nobody, wants to read comments like this. I wish that people act the same way with you as you do.

    A long or a short engagement: I really dont know - I never thought about it. I consider to marry my love one day. I doesn't matter how long we are engaged - but I think we would marry within a year.
    And please don't mind strange people like Ms/Mr Anonymous.

  9. I came back here to read about others engagement stories and saw that heinous comment. (G and Lilli- I love your responses to anon.)

    If you're going to spew hate, have the balls to do it under your name and link. Actually, scratch that - just don't spew hate. It's gross.

  10. short. though i love GOING to weddings, i think they are overrated for the bride and groom. to much pressure is put on their "special day". it turns out to be not so special when you're worrying about the flowers and the cake and the DJ and the itinerary going well and, and, AND, AND... the list goes on. have a short engagement (after dating for longer possibly as a compromise) and there's less anticipation and anxiety over a perfect wedding day. keep it simple, and the special day will truly be a special day.

    (now if only i would get that ring on my finger so i could live out this plan :P)

  11. Wow, what is wrong with Anon? What a terrible, hurtful and completely unnecessary comment. Such a shame that such hate even exists in the world and then it's seen on a love-filled blog like this. Do you think your tiny glimpse into Melissa's life allows you to know her so well that you feel you have the right to make such hate filled judgement? And even then, such hatred should probably be kept to yourself. Ann's right, it really is gross.

    On to happier things, like engagements!...mine was a few weeks more a year and my advice to brides and grooms is to have a short engagement. Mine felt just a little long...more time to stress, more time to make decisions, more time to add/subtract/add again/subtract again...it just seems like too much time to turn a ceremony about love into a ceremony about decor and dinner and photos, etc. Obviously everyone's situation is different but I personally think that keeping it on the shorter side (with long enough to plan and enjoy of course!) keeps the drama, pressure and hype down to a minimum. It lets you focus on what really matters.

  12. Okay. Whoa. First Anon was just disgusting. Second Anon's voice I recognize & don't like it either.

    Melissa...there is nothing wrong with deleting those sorts of comments. I would prefer it as a reader because now I can barely remember what the post was about. I don't even care at this point. Ugh.

  13. I'm engaged now, and the engagement will last as long as it takes for us to save up for the wedding. We've said it will probably take us roughly 2 or 3 years, but I don't care if it takes us 4 or 5, we both strongly agree that we do not want to start married life in debt. If money wasn't an issue, I would want to get married within a year or two of getting engaged!


  14. Second anon, you're just as cruel. Your first comment, with the long list of what you view as Melissa's shortcomings was mean spirited. (Guess what? I'm entitled to my opinion, too.)

    "I still cannot believe she "swoons" over celebrities, watches Honey Boo-Boo, goes to the Muppet movies, thinks that eating out at a grocery store is a BIG DEAL, is obsessed with sweets and candy, chugs Diet Cokes like there's no tomorrow, devours tabloid magazines and spends most weekends at home hanging out with her mom..."

    So what.

    I, along with the majority of women I know, swoon over celebs. I've watched the train wreck that is Honey Boo Boo, LOVE the Muppets, thoroughly enjoy eating lunch at Whole Foods, have a penchant for glossy magazines and desperately wish I could spend the weekends hanging out with my mom.

    You shouldn't judge.

    Melissa, I have no doubt that you are fully capable of handling yourself. I just get so sick of the ignorant anon comments that sometimes it's hard to hold back.

  15. A few things-

    Why do you hide behind "anonymous"?

    I may be completely wrong but it kind of sounds like you're waiting to live vicariously through someone else.

    Everyone moves at their own pace, except and respect that.

    Instead of finding fault with a woman who isn't moving fast enough for your liking, chill out and enjoy her writing.

    Have a good day, Anon.

  16. Touché on the grammar, Anon. I still think you're a bitch.


  17. WOW. I don't even have to say anything--Ann said it all. Don't let it get you down Melissa! <3

  18. Engaged seven months, but by the time we got engaged, we were certain that we were ready to be married as soon as possible. We had all the talks we needed to have, made the decisions, etc. We were ready to begin our life. Was just right for us, but everyone is different.

  19. As always, I've deleted comments that don't contribute to the topic. Let's keep it classy, remember? :)

  20. Ann........takes one to know one, honey! Have a great week!

  21. I'm engaged at the moment. I got engaged in March, and am getting married in January, so that makes a 10 month engagement. It's actually a little on the long side of what I would have liked, but it seems to have gone well. It's been enough time to get everything sorted without it dragging on too long. I think 6 months would've been ideal though =) xx


Your lovely comments make my day so much sweeter! Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!


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