TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa RE: Don't ask, don't tell
DATE: October 31, 2012 Navigating love and life can be difficult, boys. Troublesome, even. I know this all too well, and I'm sure you do too. Sometimes, you just don't know what to do, say or act. And more importantly? Sometimes, you just don't know when to keep your mouth shut. Now, before you go on believing that I've never fallen victim to this mistake...trust me, I have. Far too many times. In fact, I'm not sure I could even count the number of times I've opened my mouth at the wrong time, only to have the wrong words come flowing out. It's not very much fun when you find yourself in this situation. In fact, things tend to get downright awkward really, really, really quickly. So, in an effort to save you some of the humiliation I suffered, here are four questions you should think twice about before asking on that all-important first date...
Why aren't you married yet? Is it a fear of commitment [or insert you own reason here]?
I can almost guarantee that both men and women get this question enough from other people in their lives, so there's really no need to put her under the spotlight. This question should be off-limits on first dates. Can you imagine it coming up between talk of your favorite bands and the dessert? I'm not sure if I'd be more offended or annoyed, but one thing's for sure: I don't think I'll be dreaming of that second date.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Don't get me wrong -- this is a good question. A great one, actually, and one that should be the topic of conversation at some point early in the relationship. But I'm still not convinced that the first date is the appropriate time for it. You're still getting to know each other. And honestly, some days, even I don't know where my life with take me over the next 10 years.
Are you a virgin?
If a guy asked me this on a first date, I'd probably choke on my appetizer. I'm all for honesty, but there are just some things that deserve a little mystery. The Big V, boys, is one of them.
Who are you voting for in this election?
I couldn't resist this one, especially with the presidential election coming up. It's fine to hold your own beliefs, and it could even be fun to get into a spirited debate. But this debate should take place much later, once you two are more comfortable with each other.
...and one "if-y" question if you're friends with a woman
So what do you think? She's great, isn't she?
You'll probably be asking this question to one of your best girl friends after introducing them to your new girlfriend. We've talked about the very fragile tightrope that is the girlfriend vs. girl friend, and if your girl friend is, in fact, just a friend, then everything will be fine and dandy. But on the off chance that your friend doesn't exactly see you in a "friend" way anymore? Well, you may have just unknowingly opened a huge can of worms.
Well, what do you think, boys? Any questions I've missed? Consider this your crib sheet for first-date bliss. Good luck... xoxo
[Photos via We Heart It]