One morning, I woke up and suddenly, I was a mother of two! Where did the time go?! All my life, I dreamed of the day I would have two little girls, close together. They would be sisters for life. They would be the best of friends, entertain one another for hours on end playing dolls and house and library and school. They would have that bond that I had with my four sisters (yes, lots of estrogen in my home!). A bond that was like nothing you could compare.
Now that I have two precious daughters, it’s almost surreal. I went through moments of “What did I get myself into?" Moments of doubting myself as a mother. Moments of feeling utterly overwhelmed and unworthy of such perfect little babies that God had blessed me with. I started feeling sorry for myself. One day, my husband came home after work with this gorgeous bouquet of flowers, and I just burst into tears. It was just one of those days -- hormones and being inside all day long changing diapers and breastfeeding just sent me a wee bit over the edge.
That night, I watched a video called Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership With God by Jeffrey R. Holland. It was a message that I needed to hear. My eyes swelled with tears, no longer caused by my little pity party, but instead tears of utter gratitude. The video ended, and I sat there. I could see my reflection in the now-black computer screen. I looked tired. My hair was in a high bun for the third day in a row (buns are just so convenient -- ha), and makeup? Well, who has time for that, right?! Suddenly, I realized, this reflection of an “I just want one good night's sleep” mama became someone who I admired. I am a mother. I am a teacher to these little girls of mine. I am an example of goodness. I am a leader and a motivator. I am a maid, a chef and a nurse to these little munchkins. And this, my friends, is when I had an “ah-ha” moment, as Oprah calls them. All these things will end. My girls will grow up, and the bags under my eyes from sleepless nights will disappear (hopefully?!). The endless toy pick-up and diaper changing will be that of the past. So enjoy it. Enjoy it while it lasts.
I went to bed that night, sliding my ever-so-exhausted body into my nice clean sheets, excited to get a little shut eye. Suddenly, the cry of hunger came from the bassinet, and for the first time, I thought, “Thank you for that sweet cry.”
--By Aarean from The Color Issue