Thursday, November 29, 2012

Wise words from a reader

This week has been an unbelievably exciting one, friends. After my newest xoJane piece was published, I received several emails from readers. They all touched me, naturally, but what I wasn't expecting was for people to identify so strongly with my words and with my story. Thanks to readers like Nazanin, I learned a valuable lesson. Nazanin writes...

I feel the cage you have built for yourself. A line you've drawn and decided you can't cross it. We have all drawn these lines in our lives. We have made decisions about ourselves and gave meaning to them and stayed committed and faithful to them- waiting for someone to set us free from those barriers, ignoring that it was us that built them on the first place. You are right..who are you to deserve Stephen? You deserve someone who deserves you. May them be Stephen or someone else. First, believe in your self worth. Establish how much you want to be valued and then ask the world for it.
Thank you, Nazanin, for such a great nugget of advice. I was just talking with my friend Claire about this the other day. Sometimes, we find ourselves in a rut, where we trick ourselves into believing that we are -- without a doubt -- the only people on the planet who have ever felt the way we feel or have experienced what we have. I've felt like that for such a long time. But like Claire said, we all have our own issues that we bring to the table when it comes to relationships. So maybe it's about learning to integrate them into our lives as opposed to trying desperately to push them out of our lives. What do you think, friends? xoxo

[Photos via Le Love]


  1. i agree about integrating the issues, you should go with them and try and understand them instead of pushing them away. great blog post
    ellie at

  2. I loved Nazanin's words... :) Thanks so much for sharing this! We all can learn from it. XOXO

  3. I must say, you have some pretty fabulous readers–I love that they speak from the heart, and can inspire us all!

  4. What a beautiful, truthful comment...something that everyone should hear. : )

  5. Me too, Lena -- it's refreshing to be able to be so open!

  6. What great advice and so beautifully written. Reading your article right now fyi!

  7. I found all of your writings and the comments on fear and barriers to be so true.

    This is something everyone says that sounds both ridiculous and obvious: "The worst he could say is no." But it's true. I would tell that to myself if I could go back in time. If you can learn to say "Oh well, at least I tried!" then a no is not so bad at all. Some guys are more polite about it than others but, just look at it as, if they are rude then whoo you dodged a bullet anyway.

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