Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Love Lounge: On extroverts vs. introverts

Here's a (shocking?) confession: I come from a long line of introverts. Well, on my mom's side, anyway. My cousin loves spending the weekend getting lost in a good book. My aunt would prefer a small dinner with family than a booming party with the entire neighborhood. And my mom sometimes finds herself exhausted after a night of socializing. But my dad's family? With five siblings, he grew up in a pretty social household. It all just seems to come so naturally to them. When we got together for Thanksgiving a few weeks ago, I noticed everyone talking and laughing as if it were all as easy as riding a bike. They were so comfortable. They were so at ease.

I've always been fascinated by the introversion vs. extroversion debate -- how some people grow up thriving on being around other people while others avoid it like the plague. So, needless to say, it was pretty eye-opening when I read that shyness and introversion aren't the same thing. Shyness has to do with behavior; introversion is all about motivation. Apparently, famed psychologist Carl Jung looked at introversion and extroversion with an emphasis on energy. Extroverts are energized by being around other people; they feed off the social energy. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to be drained by said social interactions and crave alone time.
How interesting is that? Are you an introvert or an extrovert, friends? Do you naturally lean toward one more than the other? Has it changed over the years? I'd love to hear! xoxo

P.S. Still not sure? Here are nine signs you might be an introvert. I completely agree with #2, 5 and 9.

[Photos via Le Love]


  1. Such an interesting thing to ponder, Melissa! Most say I am an extrovert because you can throw me into any situation and I enjoy meeting people, but I tend to think I have introvert qualities, too. I very much like quieter days and evenings and "me" time! :)

  2. I'm an introvert all the way...I've been trying ever so hard to be extroverted but I revert back to the introvert...I blame my nook & the fact that I'm an only child. I'm content w/ being by myself. =P

    Ergo - Blog

  3. I am an introvert, and I think my husband leans more toward introvert too. His four sisters tend to be more extroverts, although two are more like him in that they lean toward introvert. My two sisters are polar opposites of one another, one is very introverted and the other very extroverted.
    Of my three kids, I see that one appears to be introverted and the other two more extroverted, but they are young so who knows.

  4. I think I'm an introvert but my husband (a classic introvert) is like, "NOOOO!!!!" But group projects give me anxiety and all my hobbies are solitary. But I love people and I love being around different social situations. But I also get easily overwhelmed with social media. So... I don't know what I am.

  5. I'm not sure. I need a LOT of coaxing to get out of the house and socialize. But I get along very well with others and do enjoy chatting up strangers. I guess I'm just okay with solitude. I had a friend who couldn't take a car ride more than 15 minutes without calling up someone on her cell because she felt bored or lonely. No way, it'd take me a month to feel like that.

  6. I get my energy from both. I really need my alone time, to do my own thing, but equally love to be around people and chat. It's a fine balance with me. The lack of either makes me grouchy haha. And the funny thing is, I think my closest friends are all introverts. Social media, overwhelms me though too, Dancing Branflake! Media in general can be too in your face and everywhere. That's a whole other issue. Anyway, yay to the introverts and extroverts out there! Gotta love the mix.

  7. Ok, I'm reading the Sophie Dembling article and am only on number 4 out of 10 ... it's looking way more like an introvert (who likes to socialize). Very cool article! Thanks for sharing :).

  8. I'm an introvert, and so is my sweetheart, to a lesser degree. I always thought I was shy, but it wasn't until I was older that I realized I didn't feel uncomfortable in social situations, necessarily–I just needed my own space to feel refreshed. Talk about eye-opening!

  9. I envy you, Liesl! That's awesome!! xoxo

  10. This is fascinating!!! i thought more people would lean toward extroversion...introverts, unite! :)

  11. I can never decide what I am...I am pretty convinced I am stuck squarely in the middle of the spectrum, depending on the day.

    Also, just read another great post about introverts on my friend's blog recently:

  12. Dear Melissa - I came across your blog via my search on why guys ask girls out. I'm an Ugly Duckling teenager of sorts and your posts are so humorous and honest, I love reading them! Keep writing - your words have inspired me and given me something to smile about! LOVE LOVE LOVE THE BLOG :D Newest follower! Can't wait to read whatever other posts you'll write in the future!
    Thanks so much for what you're doing here!

    - Amanda Val


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