Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #166.

Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
Sweetpea, sometimes I get to wondering what sort of marriage we'll have. I mean, when you really think about it, there are all different kinds of couples. In the mosaic that is romance, it takes all kinds. Some couples thrive on that sort of drama that leaves their lives resembling one exhaustive soap opera after another, full of screaming matches, hurling blame as if it were the secret weapon of choice and so many makeups and breakups that friends and family alike have stopped trying to keep track. Other couples waltz through life as if it were their own private fairytale. Everything is glittery rainbows and starry-eyed lovebirds who just can't seem to get enough of each other

In the corniacopia of coupledom (try saying that 10 times fast, Sweetpea...), I honestly can't say that I'd like to see us fall into either one of these categories; they seem to represent two unhealthy extremes, don't they? At the very least, they're not states of bliss that couples should aspire to. Don't get me wrong, Sweetpea. I am wholeheartedly looking forward to becoming one-half of our very own power couple. After all, research has linked marriage to happiness time and time again. In fact, a recent study from Michigan State University revealed that being married does indeed make you a happier person in adulthood. How? Marriage apparently helps safeguard against the normal declines in happiness most people experience in adulthood.
Well, honestly, I could have told you that years ago. Growing up, I saw it in real-time every day. My parents were happiest when they were together; I suppose that was the first introduction to "coupledom" that I ever had. So it all makes me wonder: Who do we model? Who teaches us about what couples should and shouldn't be to each other? Family? Friends? The media? Or is it something that we just have to learn to navigate on our own, sometimes without a flashlight to see where we're going or a safety net to catch us if we find we've fallen in too deep.

And the more I think about it, Sweetpea, the more I realize just what sort of couple I want us to be. The kind that inspires each other. I want you to make me a better writer and a better person. Granted, I know it's going to take a lot of work. It won't be easy. I won't fool myself and pretend it will be easy and all glittery rainbows. But if we always work together, something tells me that we can make it work. What do you say? Until we meet... xoxo

[Photos via Le Love]


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  2. :) I hear you! It is always great to have references of awesome couples that at the same time, inspire you to be better, as a couple and also individuals. When I pictured and fantasized about 'my prince charming', I always wanted him to represent the perfect/organic extension of the inconditional love and support that I find in my family. I'm sure that you will be very happy with your man! :)

  3. Oh Melissa <3 The guy that I'm in love with now actually said that quite simply, in, "I want a marriage of love, and sex shouldn't be nexus of it." I mean.. it's true! You need this kind of "pure" love, if you will, to keep going through the tough times that tear most couples apart!

  4. I'm incredibly undecided about marriage, but perhaps that's because I am not in love myself. I think I see so many marriages gone wrong, and it creates a bad perception of such a union in the mind's of some {}. Experience is what I think will settle it all. :/


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