Thursday, January 31, 2013

Love Lounge: Those little lies we tell ourselves

I'm so over him.
I'm not mad at her.

I can do this all by myself.

I don't need anyone.

Those are just some of the lies we tell ourselves. Well, those are some of the lies I've told myself over the years, anyway.

Lies. They're a funny thing, aren't they? The way they seem to creep up and just completely take over. When you think about it, not all lies are created equal. There are those lies we tell to save face. There are those little white lies we dispense to protect someone's feelings. But it's those lies we constantly tell ourselves that seem to be the most damaging in the end. If we're not careful, we can quickly find ourselves believing those lies and giving them far more power than they deserve.

So why is it, then, that when we're faced with the choice -- looking truth square in the eyes or giving credence to a lie we've told ourselves -- most of us would choose the lie over anything else? Maybe it's just easier and less traumatic in the short-term to believe a lie. Facing the truth can be difficult and scary -- leaving you feeling vulnerable in your own skin. Maybe it's sort of like pulling the curtain back on the Wizard of Oz. We know all about the lie. We know what to expect. It's safe. But once we take those first steps towards the truth -- or, peeking to see just who it is behind the curtain -- there's no going back. We can't easily turn around, no matter how much we want to.

And in the end, how do we know when enough is enough? When do you realize that those lies aren't getting us anywhere and are just a waste of time? Because it takes courage to stand in front of that mirror, take off that mask we've been wearing for so long and look at ourselves -- really look at ourselves -- for the first time. I suppose it's an unveiling of sorts.
So, friends, I'd love to know: Why do we keep lying to ourselves, even when we know it's not true? When does lying to ourselves become self-destructive? Is it just easier to lie than face the truth? What lies have you told yourself over the years? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]


  1. Personally, I think lying is a sign of immaturity. As one ages, gains self confidence, and tires of the games you just move past it. At least that's my own personal observation.

    Speaking of lies, I recently saw these prints. It's from Daily Dishonesty and her entire series is based on lies we tell ourselves. It's brilliant - here's the link:

  2. I think it takes looking at yourself honestly....looking at the situation without blurred "wants and what if's". Most of us don't stop to do that.

  3. I think it comes from wanting to stick your head in the sand and pretend that everything's okay. But really, that just means you're not working to fix things.

  4. The biggest lie? I tell people I'm okay, but really I'm a hot mess. Gotta get my act together!

  5. HA–Branflake always cracks me up!

    I think the lies we tell other people (I'm okay, I'm handling this so well, things are terrific, isn't my life divine?) can get mixed up with the stuff we know to be true, and some people can't even remember when the lie started. I like to think that I'm more painfully honest with myself than with anyone else, but I'm sure there are some realities I soften with little white lies I'm not even aware of.

  6. In the words of Joan Didion (one of my favorite writers EVER), "We tell ourselves stories in order to live."


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