Monday, January 28, 2013

MEMO TO MEN: Why cheating is unforgivable

TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Do NOT pass GO...
DATE: January 28, 2013
Oh, boys. I was beginning to think I'd heard it all. After all, I'm starting to realize that you're capable of some pretty interesting things. But then I came across something that made me go, "Oh no he didn't," because, well, apparently he did.

Our friend Tiger Woods has reportedly re-proposed to his wife, Elin Nordegren. Apparently, he also threw in a $20 million prenup for good measure, but that's beside the point. Woods also reportedly included an anti-cheating clause with his new declaration of love for his ex-wife. Well, if that's not true romance and the sign of a gentleman, I don't know what is.

What's really got my blood boiling here, boys, is that he would have the audacity to even propose again after he cheated. Who even does that? Now, you know that I'm not one to usually buy into these sorts of reports, but it has me alarmed. Could this be the start of a new trend, one where your cheating heart is neatly tucked under the rug and all is quickly forgiven? I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but you can't have it both ways. You can't have it both ways. You can't land on jail and then waltz around GO and collect your $200. Love just doesn't work that way. The heart is a very fragile thing, and even the slightest break could take years to heal. Being as naive as to think -- or, even more so, expect -- it can heal any faster is not only insensitive, but also irresponsible.
I hope -- at the very least -- that you will take this as a cautionary tale, boys. The heart is not your plaything to do with it whatever you want -- to at once put it aside, and then expect it to come crawling back to you whenever your mood dictates. True, people are capable of change, but the heart never forgets. Sound good, boys...? xoxo

[Photos via Le Love]


  1. What?! Oh, I'm dying to know did she say yes? As a woman who has been cheated on, I know first hand how fragile the heart is. I hope she said no, she deserves better. Once a cheat always a cheat. xo

  2. So true, darling!
    I can't believe the audacity of Tiger Woods!


  3. Wow, just wow! I hope people find peace and love with themselves before jumping into anything else!

    Chic 'n Cheap Living

  4. If she says yes, I'm going to tear my hair out.

  5. Ugh. Jerk. Cheating is not OK. Like you said, people can change & be forgiven, but I could never forget something like that, & it would take a lot for them to prove that they have truly changed.

    Flounces and Hubbub

  6. I believe, for many of us, that perspectives can change as we age. Something which might have made me throw someone out the door at 25 may be worth working through at 56. People do change...if they really want to do the work.


  7. Let them do whatever they want because, at the end, it's the woman who will be making the final decision. x

  8. I feel the same way as Gloria above. Cheating and infidelity can have devastating consequences for a relationship, particularly one that is young and fragile. But people make mistakes and do reckless things for any number of different reasons. No one knows what goes on in other people's relationships so who are we to judge? Besides, how many of those happily ever after stories that Hollywood and romance writers (I'm thinking "The Notebook")feed us are based on infidelity. Ally in The Notebook cheated on her fiance, but many people still think that story is "soooooo" romantic, etc. Relationships are messy. People are messy. Having your life and all the dumb mistakes you make open for discussion on TMZ, etc, etc, makes it even messier.

    For the benefit of their children--and children are a huge consideration in these matters--I hope the Woods can find a way to work out their problems so that the kids feel safe, secure and loved by both parents, whether their parents stay together or not.

  9. I saw that too! Ridiculous!!!!

  10. I agree with Gloria and Sarah Marie above. I don't know Tiger or his ex-wife personally. I've never met, let alone spent time with their kids, either. So I don't know the whole story behind their relationship, and even if I did know the whole story, as a fellow 'person' I don't think I have the right to judge. I think my job is to respect their privacy and give them support quietly. I'm sure they have their reasons for their decisions, and because I'm not them, or haven't lived their lives, I can never know if it's the right decision or not. The best I can do is respect and tolerate their choices as people.
    I'm thinking they just want to be loved, and be happy - like most everyone else, you know?
    I wish there was less focus on celebrity marriages. As if they are supposed to be perfect, and always in love. We can't have scattered rose petals and fluttering doves everyday people! That's just humanly impossible. The Woods are no different than the average couple - except they are put under a large microscope.
    There is no perfect marriage. If anything, what makes a union beautiful and inspiring is people working through the hard stuff, each day, everyday, working through and putting aside their own anger and fear, for the better of their kids and family. It's not pretty and it's not easy. We all wish it was different - I know. But that's the real dope, people.
    I wish them both the best, and hope they are able to work things out as a family, whether they get back together or not. And I hope we can use our time here on healing and encouraging one another, rather than judging one another. Sorry for the random comment...but thank you for the thought provoking topic, and for letting me share my thoughts here!

  11. Didn't Elin kick his ass the last time? I live about 45 minutes from where their home is/was so the fight and the fact that he tried to make it look like his lacerations were from a car accident were allll over the local news. I'm pretty sure she was so pissed off, and rightly so, that she chased his car and was beating it with one of his golf clubs (HA!)

    Anyone that cheats, male of female, is completely selfish. And, you're right, the heat is delicate... Things like that take a long time to get over.

  12. I feel this should be a memo to people, rather than just to men. Women cheat too, it's not always the boys that are being hurtful!


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