Monday, April 29, 2013

Love Lounge: 5 crushes every woman needs

I don't know about you, friends, but I'm the type of girl who crushes. A lot.

Ooohh, crushes. They can be the absolute best thing in the world, or they can be the most frustrating experience of your life. But one thing, I've found, is clear no matter what type of crush it is: You'll be changed forever. Why? Because nothing tugs at your heart quite like unrequited love -- the kind of yearning that keeps you up at night, tossing and turning amidst a sea of "does-he-or-doesn't-he" confusion while during the day, you find yourself doing things you (i.e. your normally sane self) wouldn't usually do. It's a minefield out there, I tell you. So, to help us all out, I thought I'd share one of my favorite Dating With Disabilities columns that I wrote in 2009. I figure it can only help, right?

I have this habit of falling headfirst over the edge and into a deep, shallow ravine – a ravine of obsessing, analyzing, and of course, some drooling too.

But once I manage to claw my way out of that bottomless pit that is the wonderful world of Crushdom, I come to see that each guy signals a rite of passage of sorts. From the artistically proportioned nude model/life guard to the definitely younger guy, each one has earned its rightful spot for a reason: To help me figure out who I like, who I don’t like, and most importantly, who I am. Let’s face it, there are just certain guys that need to come into a girl’s life, if only ever-so briefly, because in the end, a crush isn’t really just a crush, is it? So grab a pen and see if you can check off these five dudes from your own guy checklist.

THE JOCK (A.K.A, the Stud)
This guy is the ultimate man’s man. Ah, there’s nothing like the good old All-American standard: Tall, muscular, blonde haired and blue eyed and tan. I fell for this guy one summer when I was 16. He was the lifeguard at the local pool, and let’s just say I burned off a lot of calories that summer by balancing swimming back and forth with oogling his sculptured physique: His toned boy, tan, broad shoulders and that hot tattoo that moved every time he flexed his biceps. It didn’t help that he worked as a nude model too. Gosh, it was the best summer of my young life.

These guys are your Seth Cohens or your Steve Urkels. They may carry pocket protectors and sport an extensive collection of Superman comic books, but have you noticed how sexy it suddenly is, especially with those horned-rim specks? The mind can be a very sexy body part. Now instead of passionate kisses and candle-lit dinners, I dream of someone reading to me in bed as we lie in each other’s arms.

I once knew two comedians: one in high school and the other in college. The one in high school had a dead-on Chandler Bing sense of humor that could light up a room. The other one in college had a sarcastic, flirty sense of humor. Both could make me laugh on the spot, and I sport a somewhat odd aversion to PDAs – public displays of animation. It takes a certain type of humor to make me laugh in public, and they both had the charm and wits about them to do it. Every single time. We all need a jokester in our lives to bring a smile to our face and make us forget about our crummy day when everything goes wrong: work, being reprimanded by your boss, your mother on your case again. It just so happened that both high school jokester and college jokester were writers. Go figure.

My sister once dated a guy who was the perfect gentleman. He’d bring her a flower on dates, open doors for her and seized little moments to hold her hand. Even his awkwardness at all these attempts was cute. We women are feminist, of course, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to indulge in some good old fashioned chivalry every now and then. It doesn’t always have to be these grand gesture statement all the time, either. A little love note here, a bouquet of roses for no reason there. A little bit goes a long way here, guys...

I had the pleasure of experiencing this for the first time last year. An old friend and I reconnected after a few years. We’d gone to high school together and our parents knew each other, and out of the blue, he emailed to see how I was doing. We started corresponding – I’d laugh at his attempts at jokes and he’d tell me how much he liked my columns – and before long, I wanted him to like me more than my wittiness as a writer. I was falling for him. Hard. Things got even tougher a few months later when I found out he had a girlfriend he neglected to tell me about; from what I can deduce, it must have slipped his mind. But falling for the friend isn’t all bad: We can test out our flirt techniques without risking looking like a complete dork, we can smile out of the blue just thinking about him and we can act like a schoolgirl again.
What crushes would you add to the list, friends? What sorts of crushes have you had? What did you learn from them? What did you teach them? Did you end up dating any of them? Let's chat, shall we? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]


  1. Check on all of them at some point in my life... though I think now I would like to crush on someone who's a combo of those! ha!

  2. "The Bad Boy" - I learned that even though I'm attracted to the bad boys, they are never GOOD for me.

  3. Bless your heart, Melissa. You took me on a ride down memory lane today!! I have had crushes on --- of course -- all of them!!

    Bonnie Anderson

  4. I always had a thing for the bad boy...always...

  5. Oh I married my comic geek! haha

  6. Awesome post, darling!
    Love the types you have listed ~ been there!


  7. 'The Study Partner'. It's like he's not your friend per se, but you start to fall for him because you wind up spending so much time together studying - and you grow to love his quirks. :P

  8. Hi Susan -- good call. Thanks for catching that! xoxo

  9. I had a lot of crushes on musicians when I was younger... give a man a guitar and suddenly I was a lot more interested! All that creative, arty moodiness! These days I'm more into geeky science boys and guys with big hearts - I guess my tastes have changed a little! :)


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