Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Love Lounge: So about what I said...

Have I ever explained the meaning behind my blog's name? I'm sure I've alluded to it before, but I don't think I've ever really given you the full, not-holding-anything-back story. I once wrote about the trickiness of this simple phrase in one of Online Dating columns, but I thought now would be a good time to review...

Oh, those five seemingly innocuous words that, once uttered, swing open Pandora's Box and unleash an unrelenting firestorm of emotions: Fear, tears, laughter, red-faced embarrassment, confusion, more red-faced embarrassment. In fact, next to that other five-word phrase ("It's not you, it's me"), there's nothing so jolting or surprising in the language of love. It's the perfect ice breaker (or fire-starter) for having "that" conversation. It even works for those love scenes and other high-stakes story arcs in movies -- a character (man or woman; I don't discriminate here) quietly approaches another character (man or woman; again, I'm all equal-opportunity here) looking scared and unsure while the background music starts to surge. Those five words are spoken -- maybe on a rainy street corner, in a quiet bistro or even in the office (YIKES!) -– and amidst the stuttering and fidgeting, the smoky air is cleared. Just like that.
But as we know, life very rarely resembles a Hollywood script (if it did, I'd write myself into a love triangle with a certain Jake Gyllenhaal and Jensen Ackles). So how and when would a "So about what I said..." conversation come into play in real life? You see, I’m sort of an expert in this territory. More often than not, I either say the wrong thing at the wrong time (and in lots of cases, this scenario translates seamlessly to email interactions as well) or say the worst thing at the worst possible time. Ever. So what do I mean exactly? Funny you should ask...

You drunk-dialed (or spontaneously emailed) your ex (or a guy you just shouldn’t be emailing…)
OUCH. Looks like that night out on the town with your gal pals didn't end exactly how you thought it would. Not that I endorse drinking (I advise against it, actually), but it does have a way of lowering your inhibitions, allowing you to do things and say things and maybe even break things you wouldn't do, say or break were you of sober mind. Another dangerous side effect? It allows you to view your love life through rose-colored goggles. You start to remember the time your ex made you chicken soup and layed in bed with you all day when you had the flu, or the time he serenaded you at work on your six-month anniversary. These memories, then, naturally lead to that voice mail message at 2 a.m.: "I miss you. Remember all the good times we had? I pretend I'm over you, but I'm so in love with you, it hurts." The morning comes, you're sober and somber and seeing things a bit more clearly.

You told your guy friend you hate his girlfriend
No one likes to be a third wheel, but who wants to go to the movies with your guy friend and his girlfriend (awkward much?). You. Just. Hate. Her. Okay, perhaps she's a very nice person, but does she always have to be nibbling his ear? It's just annoying. So you blurt it out, he storms out and you haven't seen him since.

You told your guy friend you're in love with him
You didn't mean to start the conversation like that, and you probably wouldn't have had he not been spraying his back with that all-body spray tan can: those eyes, those dimples, the way he can make you laugh when all you want to do is cry (on his shoulder, actually). Besides, you're sure he feels that spark too; it's probably just a coincidence he deleted you from his Facebook friends' list.
So, friends, have you ever found yourself in any of these situations? What did you do? When have you said the wrong thing? I'd love to hear! xoxo

[Photos via Le Love]


  1. Oh boy, I've put my foot in my mouth more often than I care to remember!

  2. Oh boy...if there's a foot to insert in my mouth...let's just say I do it on a regular basis. I am good like that. I think the older I get...the more brutally honest I am...not everyone receives that well. Ha!

  3. Honestly, I would rather be the person who says something {which I oftentimes am}, as opposed to being the person who smiles, nods, and never speaks up. :/

  4. I agree with Erika. I've said some stupid things, but the few good things that have come out from saying what was on my mind outweigh the other times my comments lead to awkwardness.

    Flounces & Hubbub


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