Tuesday, May 28, 2013

MEMO TO MEN: 3 reasons I'd make a better Bachelorette

TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Re-inventing the Bachelorette
DATE: May 28, 2013
So, boys, it's come to my attention (thanks, Twitter...) that there's a new Bachelorette in town. I hear she started her quest last night to find Mr. Right. I didn't get a chance to DVR the episode -- my DVR is filled to the brim with Mad Men and a season and a half of Gossip Girl -- but all this frenzied excitement surrounding this newest gal and her suitors-in-waiting made me think of one thing: My own dreams of yore. Yes, as hard as it is to believe, I once dreamed of being one of those starry-eyed, rose-wielding bachelorettes

And, well, if I'm being completely honest, maybe a part of me still does. I mean, remember my Bachelorette Quest from a few years ago? Yeah, I know, it was pretty gosh darn epic, wasn't it? So with that in mind, boys, I give you some new testimony -- three reasons why I'd make a fabulous bachelorette...

You could be my first time
No, no, you silly boys, I'm not talking about that sort of first time. I'm talking about the first-date-and-first-kiss kind. And yes, I know it would be broadcast on national television. And yes, I know I'd be pretty nervous -- we're talking might-be-shaking-palms-sweating nervous. But I promise you that it will be real, so if I'm that nervous, I can only imagine how nervous you'll be.

I'll be real and honest
There's that word again. Real. Something that is sadly lacking in reality television in 2013, which makes me miss the early days of shows like The Real World and American Idol. But I digress. My turn as the Bachelorette? I can guarantee that I'd give you one dose of real, boys, and I'd expect you to give me nothing less in return.

One word: Diversity
Let me be real again for a moment -- there hasn't been much diversity when it comes to those bachelorettes. A change of hair color is about as diverse as things will get. But just think of all the sorts of diversity I'd bring; it's pretty safe to say there hasn't really been a person like me on network TV. The time has come, don't you think, boys? If for no other reason than to show the world that women with disabilities are just like other women with the same hopes, dreams, fears and -- gasp! -- desires!
It's time to start changing the world, boys! I'd say it's time to gather 25 of you, give me a rose and watch those sparks fly! Are you with me? xoxo


  1. Bravo! I have to say I couldn't agree more. One more reason I avoid TV. =)

  2. Is the Bachelorette back already? Time flies. Yes, you'd make an awesome bachelorette.

  3. I say contact the network and let's make the "REALITY" show a bit more "real." We are all real people and we all have our own disability of sorts, life is not scripted and everyone wants and deserves a chance to fall in love. xoxo

  4. Set your sights high because I think you could do waaay better than "The Bachelorette." :) Besides, the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad franchise's track record for creating relationships that last is a bit dubious! Have you ever thought about pitching other networks such as Slice, OWN or TLC? (I'm from Canada so I don't know all the different lifestyle networks there are down in the USA.) Just a thought. :)

  5. That is an awesome idea, Sarah -- thanks so much!! I'll definitely look into it...Oxygen might be a good fit too. :)

  6. I love this post! You are right that television needs more Realness. Sadly, even with a woman as interesting and articulate as you starring, I still wouldn't watch The Bachelorette. It's the death of feminism.

  7. Such a great post. I completely agree about the diversity thing...seriously all the girls look EXACTLY the same. Last season I couldn't tell most of them apart until there was only like 4 of them left...

    Flounces & Hubbub


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