Thursday, June 26, 2014

Love Lounge: The Date Debate continues...

And so the Date Debate continues today, friends! Catch up on Part 1 and read on...

The next two hours (yes, we were there two hours) (Date Sign #4) flew by in a sea of laughs (we talked about how our post-college life wasn’t how we’d pictured it), smiles (we talked about my father) and pauses that, surprisingly weren’t very awkward (Date Sign #5).

Wow, I thought. I am actually on a date with this guy, like a real-life, in-your-face, sitting-across-from-a-boy date. Who would have thought the shy high school girl would be, well, giggly like a shy high school girl as she hobnobbed with the high school brainiac?

And then I found myself almost choking on my now-cool cocoa as he began this sentence...

"So my girlfriend..."
Whoa. Back up there. Did he just say girlfriend? And not as in girl friend, but girlfriend, as in "the person I do romantic things with, like probably going to places like Starbuck’s and paying for her caffeine fix." She sounded perfectly nice. They had been dating for a few years, but for some reason, I already didn’t like this girl I’d never even met.

A tried to smile, as if I was completely happy by this sudden revelation, but all I could do was slowly begin to weep inside. A girlfriend? So apparently, this wasn’t a date; it was simply a meet-up between friends -- and not even a potential meet-up between friends-that-could-turn-into-more-than-friends, either.

Eventually, we made our way outside, into the rain (how appropriate, huh?), and I had fully prepared myself for our goodbye. A hand-shake between friends and then we’d go our separate ways. He probably had to get back to his girlfriend, I figured.

"Where are you going now?" he casually asked.

I have some shopping to do at Target,” I replied as I pointed to the store across the street.

"It’s raining. Let me walk you over," he smiled.

Date sign #6.

This guy was good.

As we sloshed our way through the rain, we made small talk; I had to be careful now not to convey any deep, emotional revelations since we were obviously just friends. There went my speech about how funny life can be and that maybe certain people come into your life at the right moment and you never know the sparks that could fly. Besides, he probably already had that conversation a long time ago with his perfect girlfriend.
We did have our goodbye hand-shake. We even said how great it was to see each other. But as I stood in the entryway of Target, raindrops still falling from my cheeks, my clothes feeling as soggy as my now-confused heart, I watched him walk away. And that’s when I realized that I could look at today through one of two lenses. One, that I’d just wasted a perfectly good morning on some guy who sent me mixed signals. Or two, that I’d just enjoyed a nice breakfast with an old family friend, someone who remembers my dad, and it felt nice.

The adult in me chose the latter. The shy high school girl in me chose the former.

[Photos via We Heart It]


  1. You are a very strong young lady and I agree with your way of thinking. It would be hard for most females to come away with the decision you made. Heartbreak doesn't feel good at all and we don't think clearly when it happens. I've said it before, but I must repeat it are a fantastic writer.

  2. Hi, pat, thanks so much...means a lot!

  3. I would have been confused too! When he said "girlfriend" not "girl" "friend". One of my guy cousins nearly gave up in the dating world! It's so difficult to read some ppl - and he had even had a fiancé once, and out of the blue she called things off. Anyhow- at 43 yrs old, he had bumped in to a lady he had gone to high school with. She was divorced with kids. Timing IS everything.........they fell in love and been together about 10 years now. When your soul mate arrives.. you will just KNOW oxox


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