Monday, November 10, 2014

Love Lounge: The curse of unrequited love...?

I once sang the praises of unrequited love -- about how it helps you find yourself and helps you grow and how, in the end, it's not really about the other person at all. It was about you, and it was a feeling to be fully embraced.

That was three years ago, and since then, unrequited love has followed me around. It's somewhere between friend and foe -- the boundaries can blur so easily sometimes, if that makes any sort of sense.

Sometimes I feel like I can only love in unrequited love. As if that's my default setting. As if I only allow myself to fall for those guys who I subconsciously know won't or can't fall in love back. As if putting up some sort of protective wall will make everything easier in the end, even though deep down, I know that it won't. If you think about it, unrequited love is one of the safest ones there is. After all, there's no awkward first dates. There's no messy break-ups. It's a pretty stress-free life, actually. No risk of hurting someone. No risk of getting your heart broken.
Maybe I'm just thinking about it too much, but I'd love to hear your thoughts, friends: What's the consensus on unrequited love? Is it safe, or are you setting yourself up for heartbreak anyway? Do you remember your first case of unrequited love? How did it end? Or is it still raging on strongly in your heart...? Do tell... xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]


  1. When I was young, I was like you...always caught up in unrequited love. Now I've been in a love relationship for almost twenty years and yeah...unrequited love is safe. It's easy. It's the cake without all the calories and the veggies without the nutrition. It's anemic; one person's love is just never enough. It really does take two (or more, in some cases!)
    It's a can embrace the joys of unrequited love and let go of the negatives or one can reject it as an option and go for requited love...which may look nothing like you expected it to and might be just exactly what you thought...and you won't know till you get there.
    Both choices are valid ones; it's up to you to decide what will make you happiest in the long run.

  2. Jenny, this is exactly what i'm thinking, and i love your analogies...cake without the calories, veggies without the nutrition.

    Glad to hear you're so happy! :)

  3. well I mean you can still get your heart broken.. because they dont love you back and that would hurt more seeing as the person is not being desired!Also you might just end up in love with the idea of that person and not who they actually are. Which would suck more, since you are in love with someone who doesn't really exist the same way you see them in your mind.

    Even though unrequited loves are 'safe' and 'easy' its because its non existent. Sometimes the awkward first dates are good for the experience and sometimes its not even awkward and you know its a match. Yes there is no risk of getting your heart broken because there is no risk of having your heart loved.

    Its better to love someone and have bad times, but at least you get to experience the good times too, not just stalking them on facebook. Love is so much more than day dreams.

    I would stop focusing on not being able to find someone, because you seem like a really smart woman who would be able to get a great guy but wont stop looking at the unrequited loves to find the true ones.

    - two girls who have been there


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