Wednesday, December 03, 2014

MEMO TO MEN: 5 first-date questions

TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: So...about those questions...
DATE: December 3rd, 2014
Speaking of dating, boys, I've heard that first one can be a real doozy. I've heard some crazy stories and some other, well, just plain scary stories. So, naturally, they all left me a bit unnerved. The big, bad dating world? It seems like one confusing place out there, full of clingers, can't-let-go exes and a pile of sexting mishaps that can never, ever be deleted. When you look at it that way, a lot rests on that first date. It's that all-important first step that is going to set the tone for the rest of the relationship -- whether that relationship lasts years or is over before the waiter brings the appetizers.

Although my first-date slate may be clean, I do know the importance of striking the perfect balance when it comes to the art of conversation. You want to keep the conversation going along at a nice pace, but you don't want to approach that bunny-boiler territory (you know the movie I'm talking about, boys...), where you're overbearing, over-intrusive and just plain nosy. I sometimes fear I may fall under the latter category, so to avoid any potential restraining orders, I've plotted out these five questions. I figure they'll help us get to know each other and be good ice breakers should the conversation get slow or awkward...

1. What's your favorite childhood memory?
This doesn't scream, "I WANT TO MEET YOUR FAMILY," but it does give me a chance to learn about your family and what you were like as a kid. It's also the perfect opportunity to let me know that you're close with your family, which is something I look for in a potential Romeo.

2. Where could I find you on the weekends?
The idea of opposites attract may be enticing and all, but in reality, I doubt things will go far unless we share some of the same hobbies, talents and passions. We don't have to be a carbon copy of each other -- after all, variety is the spice of life -- but we definitely need some similarities on which to build a foundation. If you talk about your backpacking and hunting trips for two hours, my eyes will probably glaze over within 10 minutes.

3. When was the last time you were in love?
If you have to think about it for awhile, we might be on different pages when it comes to what we want in a relationship. And there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe you're just looking for a casual, fun fling. But I'd rather know that early on before I get my own heart invested in something that never goes anywhere.

4. When was the last time you cried?
I'm also a firm believer in the power of crying. It shows you're fully in tune with your emotions and not afraid to show them, however vulnerable they may be. And trust me, boys, I've had my share of vulnerable moments over the years. And guess what? I'm not ashamed of any of them. Because they've helped me to become the person I am today. I want to meet the person you are today because of your vulnerable moments. That is a sign of true strength and growth.

5. What's your most embarrassing moment?
Really, don't we just want to laugh on that first date? There's no point in making the entire evening this long, drawn-out discussion of heavy issues. I love to laugh, and I love a man who can make me laugh. It's actually the key to my heart. And trust me, I've got some embarrassing stories of my own to share, so we can commiserate together. What a bonding experience, huh?
Have I missed any questions, boys? Anything else that you'd add? Are any of these questions too nosy for you? I look forward to chatting about all these, as long as we're not hiking or anything. In case you haven't noticed, my body isn't exactly built for that sort of activity... xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

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