Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Tip: 10 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone

Let's face it: We live in a "yes" culture. A "should" culture, if you will. "No" is a horrible word, something we must never, ever utter -- we must never say it to people for fear of a heavy dose of side-eye and possible whispers or gossip.

But that sort of life can end up being exhausting, can't it? Before you know it, you're saying "yes" so often that you feel like you're living life on auto-pilot -- or at the very least, you feel like the Energizer bunny who is merely going through the motions. In a word: It's most definitely not fun. And in no way is it any sort of way to live. Because in trying to be everything to everyone, you've neglected the person who's most important...


You're putting yourself last in everything, and honestly, it's not fair -- to you or anyone. Now, this isn't to say that you should neglect your obligations or the people around you. I'll be the first to say that there are just some things you have to do in life -- paying bills is one that comes to mind, for examples -- but other things? Well, there are some things you just don't owe anyone. Period. Here are 10 of my favorites...

1. How close you are with your family: There's nothing better than being surrounded by the ones you love, so why should that be something you have to apologize for or explain?

2. Where you are in your career: Now, assuming you're not involved in any sort of illegal activity or job, if you love your job, embrace it. Life is too short to be doing something you hate for eight hours a day.

3. Why you're single, divorced, don't have kids, etc.: You know the awkward question -- the one that inevitably comes up at every family get together and makes you blush about a million shades of red. Well, STOP blushing! Hold your head high and be proud of where you are because that's all that really matters in the end.

4. Your choice of music: Case in point -- I've been on a country kick for the last few years. My mom and sister constantly tease me about it. Do I care? Heck no -- I just turn up the music!! :)

5. Your priorities in life: So maybe some of your friends have aspirations of moving to Europe and go on grand adventures. But your biggest goal right now is just to enjoy each day and be happy. Don't ever give anyone the power to make you feel like your dream matters any less.

6. Your introvert personality: I've never been the type who loves to go out on a Friday night; I'd much rather enjoy a quiet night in. And that's OK. I simply like a lot of alone time, while others I know would much rather spend their time around people.

7. Your scars: These could be both literal and metaphorical. I have a constellation of surgical scars and I've learned to embrace them; they're nothing to be ashamed of and have helped me become the person I am today.

8. An apology for your singing voice: Enter that karaoke contest, even if it's just for fun, and sing loud and proud!

9. Saying "It's OK" when it's really not: If someone hurt your feelings, it's OK to say so and not back peddle. I can be easy to just brush things off to avoid conflict, but that doesn't really solve anything in the long run, does it?

10. Having the second piece of pie: Everyone should be able to experience the wonderful goodness that is pie. Fully and without judgment.
Anything you'd add to this list, friends? Have you ever had that "Ah-ha!" moment when you realize you don't owe anyone an explanation? How did it make you feel? Freeing? I'd love to hear! xoxo

P.S. 10 (fun!) things it's OK to obsess over, 10 reasons your thirties is your breakout decade and 10 upsides of the common cold. :)

[Photos via We Heart It]


  1. Thank you for this post, Melissa! A much-needed reminder for me as it's so easy to forget and get caught up in the chaos.

  2. You said it - enjoy each day and be happy! As a new mom, I don't apologize for choices I make for the little one. If she's healthy and happy, that is all that matters!

    little luxury list formerly Chic 'n Cheap Living

  3. Thanks for the reminders - especially about the scars - that really struck a chord with me today.

    Oh yes...and pie. Pie is awesome.

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