Thursday, April 02, 2015

Guy Talk: On the popularity of geeks

Yesterday, I shared a woman's perspective on geek culture, and today, I'm excited to hear the male point of view. Mark Brooks is an online dating expert and writes a weekly dating column. He answers some very important, need-to-know questions below...

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Why have geeks suddenly gained such credibility now?
In the past, there’s been a stigma about geeks that has made them unpopular to some people. However, geeks have always had credibility for people who are not entirely hung up on superficial categorizations. Some people look more towards the all-American or the jock type of guy when looking for a partner. They look at them and think alpha male. However, they eventually find out that broad shoulders or a good style will only get you so far in a relationship. Women have traditionally dated the cool guys and then sought comfort and understanding from their geekier friends when Mr. Cool turns out to be a dud.

Sadly, it isn't so much of a self-realization that has made women more open to geeks, but pop culture. With our reliance on technology, it’s good to have a geek around. One major retail chain even hails the existence of their geek squad. There’s also the concept that you can turn a geek into something more. Take a look at Patrick Dempsy. To millions of people, he was the geeky kid on the lawn mower in “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Now he’s “McDreamy.” A few years, a better tan and a set of hand weights and you’ve got a whole new man. With Mr. Cool, what you see is what you get, but with a geek, women often times see potential.

Why have they been avoided as potential dates in the past?
In the past, geeks have been avoided by some because they have been considered weaker and more social awkward than cooler people. There’s also been the concern from “normal people” that they just don’t have anything in common with geeks. Thankfully, much of this stereotyping is starting to erode.

What can women gain by giving a geek a chance?
The first thing you have to consider is that women have the same thing to gain by dating a geek as they do in dating a “cool person.” After all, geeks are people too, right? So first off, women have the chance to meet someone they can build a great relationship with. That said, there are certain advantages to having a geek on your arm. For example, geeks who have been written off by people in the past because of social status, tend to be much more tender and accepting partners. They look below the surface and are more interested in who someone really is instead of whatever they are tagged with by society. For the most part, geeks are not players. In fact, they are the anti-player. Most people in relationships with geeks tend to find that they feel more like they are in a real partnership than when they were dating Mr. Cool. There’s more of an interest in connecting on both end and that leads to a much more attentive partner and a greater feeling of security in the relationship. Also, they tend to be pretty handy when it comes to fixing computers or messing with high tech gadgets.

What are the best hot spots for meeting a lovable geek?
Well, as anyone could tell you, geeks like to hang out under stairwells in dark alleys where they can roll their 12-sided dice in relative peace and tranquility while they eat their Cheetos and drink copious amounts of Mountain Dew. OK, seriously, where would you find a geek that you’d like to date? Probably some place that you’d already want to go to. Geeks have many interests. They don’t all huddle up in basements and comic book stores. They go where there is art, intelligent conversation, creativity...you name it. You might find one in the bookstore or maybe at a gallery exhibit. You could find the perfect geek on the elliptical next to you at the gym or even standing next to you in the produce aisle. Believe it or not, they are everywhere!

[Photo via We Heart It]

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