Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Love Lounge: Never Get Involved With Someone You Meet...
I call these places Danger-Zone Destinations. I like to think of them as being like minefields, only with high-tech and potently powerful lasers -- remember that episode of The Big Bang Theory where the guys put motion-activated lasers in the apartment?
Yeah, it's like that.
These rooms? They're like those invisible lasers if for no other reason than their high deception rate. I mean, think about it: These places may look perfect from the outside, full of starry-eyed potential, but if you look just a little bit closer, you'll start to see the cracks in the fairy tale facade.
Translation: Your romantic dreams are inevitably going to be shattered. I hate to be the one to have to break it to you (pun intended), but it's bound to happen. Don't believe me? I guarantee you, whether emotionally draining, full of morning-after regret or just a plain bad idea, these "hot spots" will ultimately leave you brokenhearted and out in the cold...
1. Online dating site: Let's just start with the obvious one and get it out of the way first. This is, without a doubt, the holy grail of bad places to meet a beau. How do you even know you're talking to a potential beau? You could be talking to some super-advanced computer bot who knows how to say all the right things. And even if you are conversing with an actual breathing human? Ever seen the show Catfish? I don't know about you, but I don't want to be kidnapped and taken to some freaky cult in a log cabin in the middle of the woods. But that's just me -- maybe I'm just too much of a prude.
2. Wedding: Oh, don't even get me started on this one. Even I am incapable of resisting the allure of weddings. They have the power to hypnotize you and put you under their spell without you even realizing it. It's romance personified. If it was a drug, it would be crack in its purest form -- addictive, enveloping and intoxicating. You walk in thinking, "OK, this is it. The One is in this room. I can feel it." It doesn't help that all the elements are there to set a lovey-dovey mood: The magical ambiance, the romantic exchange of vows, beautiful people in fancy clothes, an open bar, the music, couples in love swaying to said music. You just want the chance at what everyone else has, right? That's not too much to ask, is it? Apparently it is, because before you know it, you hopped yourself up on one too many caffeinated root beers and find yourself spilling your life story to the Best Man when he's just trying to get out on the dance floor as the DJ leads a rousing rendition of the Conga Line. It's not pretty, you eventually realize, and you leave the wedding the same way you came -- at the end of your very own metaphorical Conga Line.
3. Jail: Well, I obviously don't condone breaking the law and highly advise that you do everything in your power to stay out of the Big House. But if you should find yourself doing hard time, don't make it any harder on yourself by falling for anyone. Remember, cell mates are not soul mates. And, really, there's just too much baggage that comes with that territory.
[Photos via We Heart It]