Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Love Lounge: Never Get Involved With Someone You Meet...

So here's the thing: I may not be an expert when it comes to the ideal spots to scope out your soul mate. And I may not even know what exactly to say to said potential soul mate. But if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's this: There are most definitely places where you DO NOT want to meet someone.

I call these places Danger-Zone Destinations. I like to think of them as being like minefields, only with high-tech and potently powerful lasers -- remember that episode of The Big Bang Theory where the guys put motion-activated lasers in the apartment?

Yeah, it's like that.

These rooms? They're like those invisible lasers if for no other reason than their high deception rate. I mean, think about it: These places may look perfect from the outside, full of starry-eyed potential, but if you look just a little bit closer, you'll start to see the cracks in the fairy tale facade.

Translation: Your romantic dreams are inevitably going to be shattered. I hate to be the one to have to break it to you (pun intended), but it's bound to happen. Don't believe me? I guarantee you, whether emotionally draining, full of morning-after regret or just a plain bad idea, these "hot spots" will ultimately leave you brokenhearted and out in the cold...

1. Online dating site: Let's just start with the obvious one and get it out of the way first. This is, without a doubt, the holy grail of bad places to meet a beau. How do you even know you're talking to a potential beau? You could be talking to some super-advanced computer bot who knows how to say all the right things. And even if you are conversing with an actual breathing human? Ever seen the show Catfish? I don't know about you, but I don't want to be kidnapped and taken to some freaky cult in a log cabin in the middle of the woods. But that's just me -- maybe I'm just too much of a prude.

2. Wedding: Oh, don't even get me started on this one. Even I am incapable of resisting the allure of weddings. They have the power to hypnotize you and put you under their spell without you even realizing it. It's romance personified. If it was a drug, it would be crack in its purest form -- addictive, enveloping and intoxicating. You walk in thinking, "OK, this is it. The One is in this room. I can feel it." It doesn't help that all the elements are there to set a lovey-dovey mood: The magical ambiance, the romantic exchange of vows, beautiful people in fancy clothes, an open bar, the music, couples in love swaying to said music. You just want the chance at what everyone else has, right? That's not too much to ask, is it? Apparently it is, because before you know it, you hopped yourself up on one too many caffeinated root beers and find yourself spilling your life story to the Best Man when he's just trying to get out on the dance floor as the DJ leads a rousing rendition of the Conga Line. It's not pretty, you eventually realize, and you leave the wedding the same way you came -- at the end of your very own metaphorical Conga Line.

3. Jail: Well, I obviously don't condone breaking the law and highly advise that you do everything in your power to stay out of the Big House. But if you should find yourself doing hard time, don't make it any harder on yourself by falling for anyone. Remember, cell mates are not soul mates. And, really, there's just too much baggage that comes with that territory.
So, there you have it, friends! Some important guidelines to keep in mind when driving down that expressway on your search for love. Would love to hear your thoughts and stories, and be sure to check out Part II tomorrow! xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

12 comments:

  1. I'm guessing this is mostly tongue in cheek, but online? That seems to be one of the easiest and most common ways to meet people to date. Married someone that way myself. 10/10 would do again.

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  2. Haha, yes, Lauren, I wrote of this in a tongue-in-cheek mode, but online dating has always made me pretty uncomfortable.

    BUT! I'm so glad to see you had a positive experience...that's awesome! :)

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    1. I have no idea if this is right, but google shows that the word "dating" appears on your site 1100 or so times. I imagine writing about the idea of dating seems easier than actually dating. Correct me if I'm wrong but you've not been on a date correct?

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  3. Very true, Lauren...I just got to thinking about the places I wouldn't want to meet that first date, you know?

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  4. Okay. Let's get real. It doesn't matter where you meet someone. It could be a bar, a funeral, a wedding, on an airplane, waiting in line at Target, in the waiting room at the clinic, whatever. If you're open to meeting new people and experiencing new things every day of your life, you'll make friends or perhaps even someone to have a date with in all sorts of places. Why does it matter where you meet someone? It's about the person. I've read about people having horrible accidents who meet each other in the hospital and get married. An open heart and mind will get you a long, long way. I met my husband at a job I had. I was dating someone else and wasn't looking. Later, when I was single, we ran into each other and started dating. It was because of the open spirit we both had that we had made a friendship connection that turned into love. I wish for you, dear, sweet, Melissa, the open heart and mind to be ready for where life and love can take you.

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  5. Now that you've outlined places you WOULDN'T feel comfortable meeting a potential date.....I'd be interested to know where you think you WOULD realistically meet someone to date. Where do you go to socialize with people in your age group? Do you travel? Coffeeshops? Wine tastings? Sporting events? Book clubs? Lectures? Art galleries? Political rallies? With all due respect....going to Target during a weekday might not be the ideal place to meet eligible men. And the college library during the day might be crawling with guys way younger than yourself. Have you ever asked any of your friends to introduce you to someone they know??? I would be interested to know where you COULD see yourself meeting someone if you're not comfortable with online dating. Thank-you!

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  6. Good points, Anons! And speaking of places to meet someone, here's a MEMO TO MEN I wrote last year:

    http://melissabxoxo.blogspot.com/2015/03/memo-to-men-three-places-you-can-find-me.html

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  7. And like the first Anon said, you never know...Mr. Right could very well be lurking in the aisles of Target!! ;)

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  8. Have to disagree with number 1. I met the love of my life 8 years ago via an on-line dating site. This isn't to say that I didn't date a lot of frogs to get to him but... I did end up with a prince as well as my best friend.

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  9. I agree with previous commenters! I met my wonderful fiance online. Online dating can be a great way to find compatible people that you might not have run into in real life, and it's especially a godsend for introverts.

    Melissa, you've written so much about dating and love, and it would be wonderful to see you put yourself out there a little more. I know all your readers would cheer you on if you wrote about your experiences going out and meeting people, including potential dates!

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    1. Completely agree with Becky. Melissa writes so much about men, dating, love, etc so it's hard not to comment on a post like this since I've followed along on the blog for quite awhile now.

      Tongue in cheek, sure. But as a regular reader there's some dissonance for me since dating come up so often in the blog. But maybe it's more for page views than something you really want to incorporate in your life?

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    2. Hey, Lauren, I can assure you that it's most definitely not for page views! Some of my favorite posts are the ones where I find myself thinking out loud, which is another thing I was doing with this post. I've found that's really helped me create a sense of community here and connect with readers! :)

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Your lovely comments make my day so much sweeter! Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!

xoxo

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