Wednesday, March 16, 2016

My Essay on Cosmo: "I'm Physically Disabled, But I Want Love..."

I'm SO excited, friends! I achieved one of my lifelong writing goals over the weekend. It's the culmination of years of studying and honing my craft (OK, and reading A LOT of my favorite glossy magazine!) and writing and re-writing and trying to find just the right words and string just the right sentences together. It's a most glorious and happy day, indeed.

Are you ready? Can you handle the excitement?

Hold onto your hats...


Can you believe it? I'll give you a minute to let that excitement sink in. Recovered? OK, good!

Anyway, my essay I'm Physically Disabled but I Want Love and Sex Too went live on the site last Friday, and I couldn't be happier. Obviously, it explores a topic that's near and dear to my heart -- love, relationships and what it's like to be a woman with a disability. My favorite passage...
There's this pervasive societal perception that women with disabilities aren't sexy and, even more damaging, that they're not interested in romantic love and relationships. The misguided belief is that our disability makes us less of a woman, and therefore, we're not seen as viable partners.
Slowly, I realized something: I let my disability make me feel undesirable and unsexy. It didn't start that way and it certainly doesn't have that kind of power. I gave it that power — no one else did. Not my family. Not my friends. And certainly, not men.
I'd spent so many years focused on the external — how I looked, my deformities, my wheelchair — that I'd completely lost sight of who I was on the inside. It was only when I started recognizing everything I did have that I began to smile and feel sexy again. I was witty, intelligent, kind, loving, and loyal. That's what I chose to define myself by — not those superficial characteristics that will eventually fade and wither away.
You can read the full essay here and I'd love to hear your thoughts -- though none of that "Oh, Melissa, try online dating" or "Hey, Melissa, why don't you get out of the house since you're such a home-bound person?" Because, you know, we've had QUITE enough of that already, don't you think?

The essay was also picked up by Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, Redbook, Marie Claire and ELLE, which means I'm having a pretty stellar week over here!

Now that the piece is live, I've noticed that we've got some new faces around these parts, so I wanted to take a hot minute to welcome you all to my humble abode. I'm so glad you're here! You can read more about me, my life as a blogger and the editorial structure of So About What I Said, but basically, I write about four topics: Disabilities, relationships, lifestyle and pop culture.

Some of my favorite regular series...

*Letters To My Future Husband
*Love Lounge
*Open Letters
*Disabilities In The Media

You can also connect with me on social media...


Thanks so much friends, old and new! Email me anytime at and let's chat! I can't wait to hear from you! Love you all... xoxo

P.S. And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect!


  1. Congrats! on the publication feats. & May you get your wish and find love this year :)

  2. This is awesome, Melissa! Congratulations!

  3. Congratulations Melissa!!! I am so excited for you- you've worked so hard! I love your writing and get a lot of encouragement from your blog. I'm heading over to Cosmo right now to read your essay :) Celebrate however YOU want!!

  4. Ahhhhh, congrats! You are amazing! Keep it up!

  5. Good for you! Hope you continue to have a fantastic week. :)

  6. Love! Love! And in Cosmopolitan. You articulate what every woman wants, able or otherwise, that we are all witty, intelligent, kind, loving, and loyal. And that's what's important in any relationship.

  7. I read your article in Good Housekeeping yesterday. Very interesting. Congrats to you! A very awesome accomplishment.

  8. I really like your writing style. It is very natural and flows so well. Good job!

  9. I never comment on blogs, but felt compelled to leave a note for this post. Your Cosmopolitan essay was beautifully written and the content was powerful. Thank you for sharing.


Your lovely comments make my day so much sweeter! Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!


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